EDMONTON – In an effort to be the most responsible driver he can possibly be, John Carnaby is making sure he obeys the speed limit when he cruises through school zones and beans kids with his 201…
Tag: driving
“Why is Toronto traffic so terrible?” wonders man in car
TORONTO – Reports from this morning rush hour suggest that people who drive everywhere continue to wonder why Toronto traffic is so bad. “I don’t understand it,” said Lloy…
After we “dig a big ass tunnel,” here are 5 simple ways we can reduce congestion without asking people to drive less
Toronto traffic is some of the worst in the world. And instead of focusing on getting people to use their cars less by investing in transit, bike lanes and pedestrianization, we need solutions th…
“WTF is happening today?” wonder drivers as white stuff falls from sky
WINDSOR, ON – In a baffling series of events, drivers in Southwestern Ontario are wondering “WTF is happening today?” as white stuff falls from the skies. The day started as a typical grey …
Frustrated driver keeps one wheel in bike lane to show cyclists how it’s used
TORONTO, ON ― Fed up with cyclists slowing traffic in the car lanes they’re legally entitled to use, local driver Hugh Weaver is taking it upon himself to show them how it’s done. “I never unders…
Haligonians marvel at city’s first two-way street
HALIFAX – Residents of Nova Scotia’s capital were left in amazement this week, as the city unveiled its first-ever street featuring traffic that flows in more than one direction. “Today is …
Nation’s cyclists mortified after learning that stop signs and red lights apply to them too
OTTAWA – Cyclists across the country expressed their deepest apologies today after learning that they weren’t actually allowed to run every red light and stop sign they come across. &…
Hero driver taps lightly on brakes before plowing into cyclist
TORONTO – Onlookers yesterday afternoon were treated to a remarkable display of the very best humanity has to offer, as local driver Jonas Grumby tapped lightly on his brakes while making a right…
Driver causing 15 minute traffic delay by parking in middle of road put flashers on so it’s totally fine
TORONTO – Drivers stuck behind a car that inexplicably stopped in the middle of the road on a street with only 1 lane in each direction were about to be very mad until they saw that the off…
Middle Finger named “Official Bird” of Ontario highways
BARRIE – In the wake of a population boom, the Province of Ontario is proud to announce that the middle finger has been tapped as the “Official Bird” of their roadways. “For years, you cou…