QUEEN’S PARK — Today Premier Ford announced his government will begin developing guidelines for when Ontarians can visit their families again, just as soon as they finish establishing rules…
Tag: Doug Ford
Restrictions remain in place for Ontarians who can’t afford cottages
ORILLIA – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has announced that COVID-19 restrictions will still remain in place during the Victoria Day Weekend for those unable to afford cottages. “For those of yo…
Doug Ford rattles bars on cell as imposter continues to competently manage COVID-19 pandemic
TORONTO – An increasingly enraged Premier Doug Ford has taken to shaking the bars on his cage as he is forced to watch an imposter competently manage Ontario’s COVID-19 pandemic respo…
Conservative Party submits Doug Ford for tests, fearing he may have contracted socialism
Toronto, ON – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has been submitted for extensive testing today after Conservative Party Executives expressed that he was beginning to exhibit symptoms of socialism. …
“Thank god for service workers” says man who will oppose minimum wage hike in 9 months
Oshawa, ON – Local man Keith Spahr is adding his voice to the millions of Canadians currently expressing gratitude at the people who are allowing us to buy groceries and other essential ite…
Doug Ford extends quarantine after learning how long it takes to grow out bangs
TORONTO – Having announced a two-week-long state of emergency roughly two weeks ago, Ontario Premier Doug Ford announced that the province-wide order would be extended after he learned how …
Eglinton LRT construction extended just long enough to be cancelled at last minute
TORONTO — With the recent announcement that the long-under-construction Eglinton LRT will be completed in 2022, the TTC has assured riders that this is only to ensure that the entire projec…
New Ontario license plates passed rigorous testing by drug dealers in unlit parking lot
TORONTO – The Ontario Minister of Government Services Lisa Thompson responded to critics of the new unreadable Ontario license plate by saying that they were rigorously tested at the Queens…
Ontario teachers reject gov’s latest offer of ‘Ford gets to punch one teacher in the face every day’
TORONTO – After taking the weekend to mull it over, Ontario’s teachers have decided not to accept the provincial government’s latest offer, where salaries would be drastically cut and Ford …
Doug Ford has 95% approval rating among kids who hate school
HAMILTON – Premier Doug Ford and his Ontario PCs are decisively ahead among children who hate their schools, principals, and teachers. According to an Ipsos poll, 95% of Ontario elementary …
