OTTAWA – The nation’s top dog court decided today that Marlowe, a 4-year-old Pug mix, was not guilty of sexual assault because the complainant’s leg was asking to be humped. Judge Duke, a 9…
Tag: Dog
INFOGRAPHIC: How good their dog is VS. How much money they have
Here’s an infographic that explains the relationship between how much money a person has versus how good their dog is.…
Hero dog wins award for bravery, despite not even knowing that he exists
OTTAWA – Pixie, a four-year-old army dog, has been awarded the Dickin Medal for bravely serving in military conflict, despite the fact that, as a dog, he has no concept of sacrifice, duty, or sel…
After pet cosmetic surgery ban, Quebec faces epidemic of unfuckable pets
QUEBEC CITY – After Quebec’s order of veterinarians banned cosmetic ear-cropping and tail-docking, the province is facing an unprecedented surge in completely fugly pets. “Augh, nasty,” sai…
Nation’s left-alone dogs floored by latest episode of Murdoch Mysteries
NATIONWIDE – After a hair-raising episode that placed Murdoch, Ogden, and the whole gang in personal danger, the nation’s dogs that have been left alone with the TV on so that they don’t ge…
Dog suspiciously upbeat at owner’s funeral
BARRIE- Friends and family of recently deceased Toronto resident Alan March have reported that his pet labrador retriever Buddy seemed strangely cheerful at March’s funeral two days ago. “I expec…
Hero dog passes climate change regulation
OTTAWA – Breaking through the barriers of political deadlock, entrenched opposition, and conflicting regional interests, a heroic German Shepherd has successfully passed a suite of legislat…
Police dog suspended after profiling several cats
TORONTO – A member of Toronto’s Police Dog services unit has been given a two week suspension with kibbles after being accused of species-profiling several neighbourhood cats. When Internal…
UPDATE: Puppy Bowl losers to be euthanized
Flickr Photo…