EDMONTON – The $4 million given to the NHL from the province of Alberta will be put to good use now that they’ve drafted NHL players as doctors, nurses, and other medical technicians. “We a…
Tag: Coronavirus
Premier Ford locks down Ontario to fight spread of Auditor General’s pandemic report
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford and his team of cabinet ministers have ordered a complete shutdown of Ontario to combat the spread of the Ontario Auditor General’s report on the government’s re…
Alberta Premier now aware of a relatively unknown disease called “coronavirus”
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has now become aware of a condition known as “coronavirus.” “I would like to bring to everyone’s attention of a new disease that I have become aware …
Amber Alert issued for 52-year-old premier
EDMONTON – Edmonton Police Service have issued an amber alert for Alberta Premier Jason Kenney who is nowhere to be found and may be in danger. The 52-year-old, who has the accountability o…
Secular Quebec encourages non-Christians to temporarily convert to celebrate Christmas
QUEBEC – Quebec Premier Francois Legault is calling upon the province’s religious minority communities to temporarily convert to celebrate the lifting of COVID-19 restrictions. Gatherings o…
Local man not going to take coronavirus seriously until family member lay dying in hospital bed
WINNIPEG – Calling it one big hoax, local man Glen Harder is refusing to take the COVID-19 pandemic until it affects a loved one or someone close to him. The 42-year-old elevator technician…
Alberta launches contact tracing app notifying users if they’ve been near David Suzuki
EDMONTON – The Canadian Energy Centre has launched a new mobile app that will warn users if they were in close contact with environmentalist David Suzuki. Albertans who download the mobile …
Ontario government confirms public health experts were on mute this whole time
TORONTO – The Ontario PC government is claiming they didn’t follow the advice of public health experts because they were on mute this entire time. Ontario Health Minister Christine Elliott …
International community sends emergency supply of better leaders to Manitoba
WINNIPEG – As supplies for people taking responsibility dwindle, the international community is sending in two hundred tons of leadership in absence of having a Premier who takes the corona…