COQUITLAM, BC – The residents of the Chung household were in shock last week as the most recent addition to their family, a fighting fish named Stanley, began acting hostile towards them de…
Tag: Call of Duty
Jennifer Lawrence hopes Tommy Grant of Glendale, AZ asks her to prom
BEVERLY HILLS — A-List Hollywood actress Jennifer Lawrence is reportedly waiting for an elaborate viral promposal video from 17-year-old high school student Tommy Grant, of Glendale, Arizon…
E3 Update: Sneak booze past customs, save taxes in hotly anticipated Call of Duty Free
LOS ANGELES – Adding to an already impressive lineup that includes “Skylanders Academy” and “Overwatch,” video game giant Activision Publishing, Inc. has announced “Call of Duty Free,” a brand ne…
Study finds 70% of nation just spares
BURNABY, B.C. – A nationwide study at Simon Fraser University has revealed that 70% of all Canadians are just spares in case some of the other 30% stop working or aren’t available. “Let’s s…
Student who never attends tutorial furious at TA strike
TORONTO – A second year history student at the University of Toronto is upset to hear that the university’s TA strike is preventing him from not attending his weekly tutorials. “This is so …
Charles Manson is getting married and I’m still single, even after I murdered all those people
BY DAVID ALAN RUSKIN Well ain’t that just a kick in the pants? 80 year old convicted murderer and cult leader Charles Manson – yes, that Charles Manson – is engaged to marry an attrac…
NSA XBox Live surveillance reveals Jihad97 as a noob
FORT MEADE, MD – Leaked documents from the National Security Agency have exposed 11 year old Daniel Parklin, better known by the username Jihad97, as an absolute noob. Jihad97’s lack of bas…
Two friends become better friends
HALIFAX, NS – Two acquaintances increased their friendship by 200 percent this week, thanks to the combined effect of two man-dates within a 36-hour period. Taking in a summer blockbuster o…