ABU DHABI – In the midst of preparation for UFC 251, officials and fighters have overcome the power of the bewitching Conch they stumbled upon, and set up a socialist system of government o…
Tag: Bernie Sanders
Democratic primary candidates find common ground in being high risk for coronavirus
WASHINGTON – The two remaining frontrunners in the Democratic primary may have very different platforms and policies, but they can agree on at least one thing: if they were to contract coro…
Kremlin still can’t remember trigger word to activate Bernie Sanders
MOSCOW – A source inside the Kremlin has confirmed that the handlers of deep cover operative Bernie Sanders have lost the password needed to activate the commands placed in his subconscious…
Breaking: U.S. President to be man for record 232nd straight year
WASHINGTON D.C. – With Elizabeth Warren dropping out of the Democratic Primaries the United States will break its own record for longest time governed exclusively by men. “Sure we considere…
BREAKING: Woman who has absorbed decades of unhinged misogynist vitriol does not like one guy
WASHINGTON D.C. — Following reports of Hillary Clinton’s strong criticisms of Bernie Sanders’ campaign and career, the nation has been staggered by the news that a woman who has endured 30 …
Sanders campaign relieved to have dodged Clinton endorsement
WASHINGTON, DC – Following revelations in a new documentary that Hillary Clinton does not support Bernie Sanders, the Sanders campaign office has responded with great relief that they have …
Bruce Wayne warns wealth tax on billionaires could result in fewer crimes foiled via jet-powered cars
GOTHAM CITY — Following proposals for a wealth tax by Democratic primary candidate Elizabeth Warren, billionaire Bruce Wayne warned this tax could lead to a massive drop in colorful crimina…
Bernie Sanders released from hospital, promises to be every bit as old as before
LAS VEGAS – While recovering from a sudden heart attack, US Senator and 2020 Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders promised supporters he will return to the race with a renewed commitment t…
Republicans furious to see Obama running for third term
Washington D.C – Republicans have expressed outrage today at the news that a man whom they are positive is former President Barack Obama has entered the race for democratic nominee, vying f…
Bernie Sanders admiration of Canadian healthcare makes patient waiting 2 years for hip replacement feel much better
TORONTO – A woman who has been waiting for a hip replacement for the past two years is beaming with pride knowing that US Senator Bernie Sanders thinks that Canada’s healthcare system is st…