DEEP SPACE – Immediately regretting opening the strange message attached to an oblong metallic object marked “PIONEER” found floating in space, a distant alien civilization blocked all of h…
Tag: Alien
Terrified man still trapped in friend’s immersive theatre show
NEW YORK – 50 year old mechanic Paul Jenson is currently in a state of panic after spending the last four hours unsuccessfully trying to leave critically-acclaimed “Into Our Collective Darkness,”…
Embarrassed scientists reveal alien radio signal was actually meant for a planet behind us
Mountain View, CA—Astronomers at the SETI Institute have confirmed that a radio signal originated from an advanced alien civilization, but was intended for a different planet behind Earth. “This …
Hipster alien only does artisanal crop ovals
NEW MEXICO – Resident alien Credacorh Zaph has become disaffected by the mass production of crop circles over the last few decades and has turned his back on them in favour of roughly hewn but lo…
Supreme Court overturns Alien v. Predator
WASHINGTON – The United States Supreme Court issued a shocking 5-4 ruling on the landmark case of Alien v. Predator, ruling that the intergalactic hunters’ (“Predators”) victory violated th…
Experts searching for Malaysian Flight 370 report ‘Fuck it, it was aliens’
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – Upon completing their submersible drone sweep of the floor of the Indian ocean, researchers searching for the missing Malaysian airline flight 370 say they have reached…