Wine bar’s “No Dogs” sentiment extremely mutual, say dogs
WHITBY – A small crowd of local dogs gathered on leashes outside of Aule Wine Bar confirmed that the artfully stenciled sign reading “Nee Canes,” which prevents them from enjoying the estab…
Homeless man probably fine
TORONTO – After brief but careful analyses of the clothing, grooming, and language ability of an elderly homeless man who spends hours each day repeatedly walking between the Annex and Park…
Kingston mayor on Queen’s Homecoming: ‘the horror, the horror’
KINGSTON – After Queen’s University students failed to pick up tens of red plastic cups from their Homecoming festivities this weekend, Kingston mayor Mark Gerretsen’s was left utterly thun…
Nova Scotia election services offered in both English and Cape Bretoner
HALIFAX – Elections Nova Scotia has announced that its services will be offered in two Nova Scotian dialects on election day; english and Cape Bretoner. “We’re quite pleased to see that Cap…
If PJ Stock does not shut up right now, he is going to find out about the switchblade I keep in my jowls
By Elliotte Friedman It is an honour to be a part of CBC’s legendary Hockey Night in Canada broadcast, and to spend the second intermission discussing the most important hockey news with so…
PROROGATION UPDATE: Parliament more productive when prorogued
OTTAWA – MPs who were worried that the prorogation of Parliament would send Canadian democracy grinding to a halt can’t believe how much they’re getting done. “Freed from Question Period,” Libera…
Breast cancer charity makes huge strides in corporate research, logo development
TORONTO – The struggle to market breast cancer corporate awareness is one step closer to victory after the Foundation for Breast Cancer Research of Canada has made a breakthrough in busines…
As Breaking Bad ends, office coffee machine prepares for life of loneliness
MONTREAL – The coffee machine at Boundless Publishing where, for the better part of six years, everyone stood around discussing Breaking Bad, is prepared for a solitary post-Walter White ex…
La Ronde acquiert un effrayant manège: le pont Jacques-Cartier
MONTRÉAL – Si les montagnes russes tels que le Vertigo, le Maniac ou le Goliath ne vous donnent plus de sueurs froides, La Ronde a un nouveau manège pour vous: le pont Jacques-Cartier. «Ça …
Parros’ mustache fails to break his fall
MONTREAL — Habs enforcer George Parros was released from hospital yesterday after his mustache failed to break his fall during a third period brawl with the Leafs’ Colton Orr. “I spen…
