Canada Post replaces community mailboxes with single, massive country mailbox
THOMPSON – All Canadians will now be required to pick up their mail at a giant community mailbox located just outside of Thompson, Manitoba, Canada Post reports. Canada’s new and only mailb…
John Baird resigns as foreign minister to spend more time stopping progress at home
OTTAWA – Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird surprised reporters yesterday by announcing that he would be leaving his post in order to spend his time preventing development and change in hi…
Child dying from measles just glad he isn’t autistic
TORONTO – Quarantined in his hospital room after contracting a fatal case of measles, little Timothy Bartlet told reporters how glad he was that his parents opted not to vaccinate for fear …
Harper Lee’s ‘To Cook a Mockingbird’ due out in July
NEW YORK – 55 years after the release of American author Harper Lee’s Pulitzer Prize-winning hunting guide To Kill a Mockingbird, the long-awaited sequel To Cook a Mockingbird will debut in…
Men’s Right groups protest removal of penis-shaped map at Downsview bus station
TORONTO – After TTC officials took down a penis-shaped map of the bus terminal at Downsview station, members of the National Coalition of Men announced a sit-in to protest the continuing war on p…
Doctors without Borders to open free measles clinics inside vegan restaurants and organic grocery grow ops
PORTLAND – In a new move to combat measles in North America, Doctors Without Borders (MSF) have started opening up vaccination clinics in the types of places where children without vaccines are m…
Man on deathbed asks children for iPhone 6
TORONTO – A 68 year-old man suffering from pancreatic cancer has asked his adult children to purchase him the new iPhone 6 so he can cross ‘experiencing all of Apple’s new features…
Puppy Bowl rocked by accusations squeaky balls intentionally deflated
LOS ANGELES – Animal Planet executives have been inundated with accusations that the squeaky balls used during the annual Puppy Bowl were severely deflated to fit the needs of lead quarter …
Immigrant doctor successfully delivers 2.5 pound pizza
WOODBRIDGE, ON. – Drawing on expertise as an obstetrician that the Canadian government does not recognize, local pizzeria employee Bishal Thule has successfully delivered a two-and-a-half-p…
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