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WASHINGTON – President-elect Donald Trump will make history this Friday, when he is both sworn in and assured he has made his father proud, by an actor portraying the late Fred Trump. “The …
What happened to the Electric Circus dancers after they were released?
Catch tonight’s new episode, 10pm EST on Comedy Network.…
Ugh
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Blue Jays, Bautista to remain in loveless contract “for the kids”
TORONTO – The Toronto Blue Jays announced this week that the club and slugger Jose Bautista have decided to continue their loveless partnership for at least one more year, citing a shared concern…
Sheppard Line celebrates 100th rider
TORONTO – In a triumphant milestone for Toronto’s newest, shortest, and most-overlooked subway branch, the Sheppard Line today celebrated its 100th rider since opening its doors in 2002. “I…
Newfoundland taxes books after caving to powerful illiterate lobby
ST JOHN’S – Reports indicate that the Government of Newfoundland and Labrador’s decision to tax books was mostly a result of heavy lobbying from the province’s popular functionally illitera…
Man riding elliptical like it killed his family
SUDBURY, ON – Grunting audibly as the machine threatened to topple under his force, local man, Jeremy Gaston, 36, was seen riding an elliptical runner at a nearby gym this week in a way tha…
7 things you already knew about the 1990s
Fashion, music, TV. It seems everywhere you look the 1990’s are back. Unless you look at a calendar in which case you see that it’s not. Let’s take a look at what makes the 1990…
Guide To: Inauguration Day
The Beaverton begins our coverage of the presidential inauguration.…
Appearance at Trump inauguration completes Caitlyn Jenner’s transition to total asshole
LOS ANGELES – Reality TV star Caitlyn Jenner announced this week that she will appear at President-elect Donald Trump’s January 20th inauguration ceremony, completing her highly publicized transi…