FORT LANGLEY, BC – Physiotherapists nationwide are reporting a sudden influx of Canadians who have been injured trying to pat themselves on the back after witnessing the chaos erupting in t…
U.S.
Twitter suspends Trump’s Twitter account after waking up from four-year coma
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Twitter finally suspended Donald Trump’s account for twelve hours today after the President released a video praising a violent mob of his supporters who stormed the Uni…
Capitol Hill Police too tied up with 3 BLM protesters to deal with storming of Congress
WASHINGTON D.C. – Capitol Hill Police were unable to deal with hundreds of Trump supporters who stormed the Congressional Building earlier today since most of their resources were aimed at …
Energized Trump scrambling to fit in as much treason as possible before term ends
Washington D.C. – The White House has witnessed a whirlwind of activity since the election as outgoing president Donald Trump is determined to commit as much treason as he can during his sh…
Attorney General Barr resigns after finding no evidence of further dictatorial opportunities
WASHINGTON— Following a year and a half of helping to facilitate the Trump Administration’s descent into authoritarianism, US Attorney General William Barr handed in his resignation yesterday aft…
Canada extends U.S. border closure to totally arbitrary date of January 21
OTTAWA – The Canadian Border Services Agency has announced that the Canada-U.S. border will remain closed until January 21st, “a date with no specific significance whatsoever.” “We would li…
Report: Trump has now lost the election more times than every other Presidential candidate combined
WASHINGTON D.C. – After the Supreme Court refused to even hear Texas’ effort to overturn the results of the Presidential election, Donald Trump has now lost a presidential election more tim…
Desperate Trump demands recount in New Brunswick
MONCTON, NB – Following unsuccessful recounts in Wisconsin and Georgia, along with mounting court challenges, Trump is now demanding a recount in the Canadian maritime province of New Bruns…
Trump forces Eric and Don Jr to compete for last spot on pardon list
WASHINGTON D.C. – Donald Trump has been preparing a slew of preemptive pardons to ensure none of the criminal activity carried out during his presidency will result in jail time for his fav…
Trump supporters upset President never shot man on Fifth Avenue like he promised he would
UNITED STATES – Diehard supporters of President Donald Trump are expressing their dismay at the realization that he may never shoot a man in cold blood on Fifth Avenue like he swore he would do. …
