Black Rock Desert, NEVADA – Cleantech automotive’s innovative wind-powered vehicle has shredded the world land speed record along with approximately 50 spectators. The new vehicle equipped …
Science and Technology
4-dimensional Rubik’s Cube champion solves puzzle before it is built
WATERLOO, ON – Reigning Rubik’s Cube king Steven Blatchkist wowed judges at the 2013 World Championships yesterday by solving a 4D variant of the puzzle prior to it having been developed or…
Man realizes barrel of monkeys more fun when monkeys not suffocated to death
ST. JOHN’S – To his chagrin, local simian enthusiast Roland Barnes has come to understand that a barrel filled with monkeys is much more fun when the monkeys haven’t died from an acut…
Upworthy changes all of existence in one short, feel-good, light on facts article
THE INTERNET – The social media sharing curating gurus at UpWorthy just published an infographic, 47-second video and gif that will blow the top off of everything, ever. “What an amazing day for …
NSA XBox Live surveillance reveals Jihad97 as a noob
FORT MEADE, MD – Leaked documents from the National Security Agency have exposed 11 year old Daniel Parklin, better known by the username Jihad97, as an absolute noob. Jihad97’s lack of bas…
Local construction project awakens community’s environmental activism, dormant alien race
STRATHMORE, AB – The second phase of the construction of a massive golf course in Strathmore, Alberta has struck a chord with environmentally conscious members of the suburb, as well as with the …
New 3D printing innovations will finally allow people to have sex with themselves
New Westminster, BC- The world of 3D printing has opened the door to one of the greatest of human sexual fantasies; having sex with a realistic facsimile of one’s self. “This is the greatest adva…
YouTube Commenter mourns the loss of his freedom to anonymously post “PENIS”
Bismarck, ND – Jason Friedman was shaken by the discovery that his hard-earned freedom to post inflammatory comments under an assumed name had been revoked by YouTube. Friedman, the troll f…
Thousand monkeys fill thousand typewriters with poop
MONTREAL – Sealed in the “Monkey Chamber” beneath Redpath library, the thousand monkeys tasked with creating the next great work of English literature have succeeded only in filling their t…
