GUELPH, ON – With the campaign for the Premiership of Ontario now well underway, Ontario Green Party leader Mike Schreiner revealed that he is still undecided as to which party will earn h…
Ontario
“You just don’t remember Bob Rae,” lectures Ontario man who doesn’t remember Mike Harris
GEORGETOWN, ON – A local Ontario man giving a history lesson to younger voters about the dangers of electing an NDP provincial government has failed to recall what happened when a PC provin…
Ministry of Natural Resources announces new dooring quotas in annual cyclist cull
TORONTO – As the weather warms up, heralding the return of dooring season, the Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources has released new guidelines for the number of cyclists that motorists wi…
Ontario voters galvanized by Andrea Horwath’s platform of ‘Hey, me I guess?’
TORONTO – The provincial New Democrats are booming in the polls, thanks to Andrea Horwath’s electrifying platform of ‘hey, at this point it’s either me or worse Rob Ford.’ “Good e-nough! Go…
Women assaulted by Patrick Brown not offered book deal
TORONTO – In the wake of Patrick Brown announcing his lucrative book deal to write about the scandal that brought him down, the multiple women who were assaulted by Brown have announced the…
Ford promises killing Greenbelt will finally allow oil pipeline between Barrie and Oshawa
TORONTO – Showing once again his keen mind for policy, Doug Ford has promised that destroying the Ontario Greenbelt will finally allow the kind of oil pipeline development that Canada has b…
Kathleen Wynne completes third draft of concession speech
TORONTO, ON – Liberal Party leader Kathleen Wynne announced this week that she has finished writing “the best draft yet” of her concession speech for the upcoming Provincial election. “Normally p…
Exclusive: The Beaverton has obtained the casting call sheet for the role of “Doug Ford supporters”
TORONTO – Doug Ford’s campaign has confirmed that actors were hired to play Ford Nation supporters outside the Ontario leaders’ debate Monday evening. It is tradition that parties shameless…
Doug Ford promises wife he’ll read just one more policy brief before heading to bed
TORONTO – Saying that it was important he “knew all the facts” before another day on the campaign trail, Ontario PC leader Doug Ford paused the Mozart he was listening to, put down his Earl…
Toronto Sun finds efficiencies by just letting Ontario PCs write their election coverage
TORONTO — As newspapers across Canada face budget cuts, the Toronto Sun has announced it will save money by outsourcing all of their Ontario election reporting to Doug Ford and his Progress…
