TORONTO — As the provincial election looms, Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne announced that she is rescinding her endorsement of Liberal leader Kathleen Wynne. “This was a difficult decision,…
Ontario
Kathleen Wynne counters Doug Ford’s ‘Buck a Beer’ initiative with Toonie Negronis
TORONTO – In response to Doug Ford’s latest promise that he will bring back buck-a-beer pricing in Ontario, Liberal leader Kathleen Wynne has announced her own initiative to win over the he…
Meet the Doug Ford campaign’s hotshot economist: Frank, who is a good guy
ETOBICOKE, ON – With the Conservatives still polling strongly, party insiders say the secret to Ford’s ongoing success is the brilliance of chief economic advisor Frank: a good buddy who’s helped…
Doug Ford nothing like Donald Trump, says man who would gladly have voted for Donald Trump
ETOBICOKE, ON – Donald Trump and Doug Ford are ‘nothing alike’ according to new research from one local man who gladly would have voted for a senile rapist war criminal. “The comparison is totall…
Man who dies of heart attack in underfunded hospital in 2021 tells family he’s voting for Doug Ford
Etobicoke, ON – Aaron Harris, who will die in a waiting room of a myocardial infarction in three years, has announced to his family that he plans on voting for Doug Ford and his policy of a…
Ontario Green Party leader Mike Schreiner unsure who to vote for
GUELPH, ON – With the campaign for the Premiership of Ontario now well underway, Ontario Green Party leader Mike Schreiner revealed that he is still undecided as to which party will earn h…
“You just don’t remember Bob Rae,” lectures Ontario man who doesn’t remember Mike Harris
GEORGETOWN, ON – A local Ontario man giving a history lesson to younger voters about the dangers of electing an NDP provincial government has failed to recall what happened when a PC provin…
Ministry of Natural Resources announces new dooring quotas in annual cyclist cull
TORONTO – As the weather warms up, heralding the return of dooring season, the Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources has released new guidelines for the number of cyclists that motorists wi…
Ontario voters galvanized by Andrea Horwath’s platform of ‘Hey, me I guess?’
TORONTO – The provincial New Democrats are booming in the polls, thanks to Andrea Horwath’s electrifying platform of ‘hey, at this point it’s either me or worse Rob Ford.’ “Good e-nough! Go…
Women assaulted by Patrick Brown not offered book deal
TORONTO – In the wake of Patrick Brown announcing his lucrative book deal to write about the scandal that brought him down, the multiple women who were assaulted by Brown have announced the…
