TORONTO – The Ontario government has launched its bold new mental health strategy called the Buck-a-Beer initiative, which is expected to replace the existing mental health system. Starting…
Ontario
Drug dealer reverses long-standing policy of ‘snitches get stitches’
TORONTO – Premier of Ontario and former hash dealer Doug Ford has announced the creation of a website where parents can report if their child’s teacher is not adhering to the PC mandated se…
Trust me, being a city councillor is nothing
By Doug Ford Folks, by now I’m sure you’ve heard that my bill to cut the number of Toronto city councillors in half has passed. And you’ve probably been hearing a lot from said councillors about …
Christine Elliott needs to see a few more dead homeless people before she’s convinced overdose prevention sites work
TORONTO – Ontario’s Minister of Health Christine Elliott says that she’ll need to see a lot more dead homeless people before she opens three overdose prevention sites in the province. “Scie…
Ford refuses to answer question abouCLAP CLAP CLAP WOO CLAP CLAP YEAH CLAP
QUEENS PARK – At a press conference this afternoon, Ontario Premier Doug continued what many reporters see as a worrying trend when he refused to field a question abouCLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP, WO…
Once I only have to pay a dollar for my beer, my life is sure to turn around in a big, big way!
By: Stan Hendricks For those of you Lib-tards who worried that Doug Ford lacked a clear platform to improve the lives of ordinary Ontarians, I present to you Exhibit “A” in the trial of Elites v.…
The Beaverton to launch Ontario News Net to compete with Ford’s fake news channel
TORONTO – The Beaverton, North America’s Most Trusted Source of News, will be launching its own version of the Ontario PC government’s “Ontario News Now.” Ontario News Net will provide TV-n…
Breaking: Man kicked off basic income pilot project still can’t afford beer
Hamilton, ON – In the wake of the Ford government’s statement that it was bringing ‘Buck a Beer’ back to Ontario by Labour Day, resident and, until this week, recipient of Ontario’s Basic I…
Ford dismantles Wynne legacy by scrapping law that says you can’t drown kittens on school property
TORONTO – After ending policies on carbon-pricing, vaping, ticket scalping, guaranteed income, and police oversight, Doug Ford has continued to dismantle the Liberal legacy by cancelling Ka…
Ontario PC party says it wasn’t fear-mongering to describe refugees as fire-breathing, 12ft tall bat-creatures
TORONTO – Lisa MacLeod, Ontario’s new social-services minister, says she wasn’t trying to stoke anti-immigrant fears when she described all refugees as huge demons whose breath can reduce a…
