BEIRUT — Syrian refugees expected to arrive in Canada were consoled by the fact that they are not welcome to live in Saskatchewan following Premier Brad Wall’s concerns that some of them ma…
National
ISIS sends “thank you” fruit basket to people who set fire to Peterborough mosque
PETERBOROUGH – ISIS has sent a fruit basket in gratitude to the people responsible for deliberately setting Peterborough’s Masjid Al-Salaam mosque on fire this weekend. “Honestly, we could not ha…
Middle-class Vancouver family can’t believe how many crawl spaces are in their price range
VANCOUVER – The Davidsons, a family of five, have easily discovered many reasonably priced crawl spaces, unoccupied walls, and under-porch real estate available in Vancouver, contradicting …
Judge cites Bro Code as precedent in rape trial
OTTAWA– A Federal Court judge has sought to overturn decades of precedent and statute by relying on the centuries old Bro Code. Justice Robin Camp, who until his appoint to the Federal Cour…
Trudeau considers re-muzzling scientists after 3 hour conversation about rare seaweed
OTTAWA – PM Justin Trudeau is reconsidering unmuzzling Canada’s scientists after a one-sided conversation about a rare New Zealand seaweed went on for more than 180 minutes. “Listen, I’m tr…
Trudeau announces last remaining caged public servants to be released Monday
OTTAWA — In an effort to improve the relationship with the public service, Justin Trudeau’s Liberal government has said it will release the last remaining caged public servants still locked…
Keystone XL execs wonder what to do with 200,000 ‘Bitumen Is My Homeboy’ t-shirts
CALGARY — TransCanada Corporation is clueless about what to do with hundreds of thousands of pro-Keystone pipeline t-shirts now that US President Barack Obama has turned down the $8 billion…
Conservatives once again appoint a woman to clean up their mess
OTTAWA — Keeping a longstanding tradition alive that dates back to 1993, the Conservative Party has selected woman MP Rona Ambrose to tidy up the mess left by patriarch Stephen Harper. “The…
Marc Garneau fulfills childhood dream of becoming a Minister of Transport
OTTAWA – During yesterday’s cabinet appointments, former astronaut Marc Garneau was thrilled to discover that he had been made Minister of Transport, thus achieving his lifelong dream. “I c…
Trudeau names former babysitter Minister of Letting Me Stay Up to Watch the First 10 Minutes of SNL
OTTAWA – Moments after being sworn in as Canada’s 23rd Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau tapped childhood friend and former babysitter Dominic LeBlanc to be his Minister of Letting Me Stay Up To Wat…
