OTTAWA — A group of prominent historians has spoken out this week, condemning the Royal Canadian Mint for a lack of care in the design of the polymer bank notes released in 2013. The group, led b…
National
Poll: Most Canadians love single-payer healthcare except Alan, the single payer
MONTREAL – A new poll shows most Canadians are either happy or very happy with the current single payer system, with the notable exception of 28 year old Alan Roberts, the man personally re…
“I didn’t touch the brownies you left on the counter, Mommy,” claims chocolate-covered Andrew Scheer
REGINA, SK – Despite chocolate smeared all over his face and hands, federal Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer insists he has no idea what happened to the freshly baked brownies his mo…
Brad Wall finishes ten year sentence as Saskatchewan Premier
REGINA – Brad Wall has completed his sentence as Saskatchewan Premier and is set to be released on parole in November. “I’ve made mistakes,” said a heavily tattooed Wall while exhaling a ci…
Right whales disguised as adorable seal pups to raise awareness about pending extinction
ST. JOHN’S – A group of environmentalists are disguising all right whales – dead and alive – as adorable harp seal pups in an attempt to gain international attention to the plig…
Liberals ‘shocked’ that Saudi Arabia using Canadian weapons against civilians this soon
OTTAWA – A furious Chrystia Freeland advised reporters that the Trudeau government was “furious” that the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia was using Canadian made personnel carriers and LAVs during …
RCMP tech crime unit asks Canadians to consider all sharing one flip-phone
OTTAWA – In the wake of a series of high-profile hacks in the United States that led to terabytes worth of private data being made public, the RCMP tech crime unit has released a statement …
CBC announces all 36 million Canadians are the hosts of The National
TORONTO – Striking a delicate balance of ensuring no person feels left out, Canada’s public broadcaster has announced that the entire population of the country will now host the flagship ne…
CBC splits single white man’s salary between two women, two minorities
TORONTO – Following the departure of longtime anchor Peter Mansbridge, CBC executives have decided to hire a diverse collection of hosts, each of whom will receive an equal share of Mansbri…
Canadian dairy lobbyists accidentally buy $200 million worth of influence in Department of Fisheries
OTTAWA – After several mishaps and one case of mistaken identity, the giant Dairy Farmers of Canada lobby group accidentally spent $200 million on favourable legislation and treatment in th…
