The federal Conservative government is set to pass a 359 page omnibus bill with a wide-range of new laws. Here are some highlights on what you might have missed: 1. 145 pages of “all work and no …
National
An Independent Quebec would keep calling itself Canada, says Marois
QUEBEC – A sovereign Quebec would not necessarily change its name from Canada to Quebec, PQ leader Pauline Marois admitted at a campaign event on Tuesday night Marois, who previously assert…
BC Conservation officer not good at conserving bullets
VICTORIA – A British Columbia Conservation Officer has been having trouble conserving the amount of bullets inside his Glock 22 sidearm. Conservation Officer Matthew Poole has received 32 c…
Robin Thicke’s Juno dancers replaced by women’s Olympic curling team
WINNIPEG – Amid the controversy over Robin Thicke’s performance tonight at the Juno’s, organizers have decided Thicke’s scantily-clad back up dancers will be replaced by Team Jones, the Can…
Ontario Liberals on deleted hard drives: ‘My finger accidentally slipped a few thousand times’
TORONTO – In response to an ongoing police investigation into the cancellation of two gas power plant costing $1.1 billion, a former high ranking staffers within the Premier’s office claime…
Elizabeth May wins 3rd annual parliamentary Hunger Games
OTTAWA – The Tribute MP representing the British Columbia District has been declared winner of the third annual Canadian Parliamentary Hunger Games after two days of intense combat and cunn…
Harper reveals Canadian Ministry of Magic, announces sweeping cuts
OTTAWA – At a press conference today Prime Minister Stephen Harper made two announcements: first, he revealed the astounding truth of a government department that oversees Canada’s various …
Pauline Marois ‘ne se souviens pas’ the definition of ‘souveraineté’
MONTREAL – At a campaign stop on the provincial election trail, Quebec Premier Pauline Marois admitted she “ne me souviens pas” the exact definition of “souveraineté” Marois recently …
‘Mother Canada’ statue to commemorate memory of veteran services, pensions
INGONISH – Parks Canada is set to begin construction on a 10 storey high statue along the Cabot Trail to commemorate the memory of Canada’s services and pensions for veterans The $60 millio…
Alison Redford steps down as Alberta Premier, replaced by barrel of crude oil
EDMONTON – Following the surprise resignation of Premier Redford, the Alberta PC party has proudly announced that her replacement would be a 159L drum of pure petrol. “When you get right do…
