OTTAWA — With Governor General David Johnston by his side at Rideau Hall, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has officially informed the Canadian public that advertisements for the election will…
National
Canadian ex-pats lose right to forget to vote from abroad
OTTAWA – A recent Court of Appeal ruling states that expatriate Canadians will no longer be eligible to intend to vote, then fail to “mail the thing in”, before forgetting about…
Hardest working senator only manages 400 vacation days per year
OTTAWA – Following recent scandals in the Upper House, workhorse Liberal senator Nick Sibbeston has rallied support by publicly revealing that he barely manages 13 months of vacation time p…
Canadian man buying groceries across the border loses right to vote
NIAGARA FALLS – After a brief shopping excursion into Buffalo, NY, a Canadian man has lost his right to vote in the next federal elections as a result of Canada’s new ex-pat voting la…
Mulcair calls on wealthy to donate child benefits to less fortunate political party
LONDON, ON – NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair encouraged wealthy parents receiving the enhanced universal child care benefit to generously give it away to a needy political party. “The Harpe…
Pierre Poilievre insists Government of Canada logo was always like that
OTTAWA – Employment Minister Pierre Poilievre is denying that he or anyone in the Conservative Party changed the Government of Canada’s logo and remained adamant that it was always like tha…
Justin Trudeau tries to avoid looking at portrait of father during annual Parliamentary orgy
OTTAWA – Despite saying he still “enjoyed the experience” and found it “quite rewarding” Liberal leader Justin Trudeau admitted it was a little tough to perform during the annual taxpayer f…
Feeling dead on the inside now a requirement for federal government jobs
OTTAWA – All federal departments and Crown Corporations will now have an added job requirement: feeling completely empty, hopeless and void of human emotion. Treasury Board President Tony C…
Justin Trudeau insists new beard completely unrelated to polls
VANCOUVER – Justin Trudeau arrived to a speaking engagement today with what witnesses say was a kempt, salt-and-pepper beard that gave him an air of maturity he had previously lacked in the…
New Conservative attack ads target each individual Canadian
OTTAWA – The Conservative government has announced plans to amp up their election advertisements by releasing 35 million new attack ads aimed at smearing each living Canadian. “Unfortunatel…
