CALGARY – After wearily setting her fingerprint-laden glasses on the table in front of her, Mikayla Petersen sighed and remembered a point in time when she didn’t have to wipe her lenses do…
Local
Couple slips Iceland trip pics under your pillow in case you didn’t see them online
TORONTO – Just in case you missed their Iceland trip photos on Facebook and Instagram, local couple Seth and Alyssa have placed a selection of hard copy prints under your pillow. Their stunning a…
Woman at front of water fountain line filling 200-litre oil drum
Burnaby, BC – Citing the extraordinarily long line-up she had caused, patrons of a local GoodLife Fitness Center recently expressed annoyance at a woman using the location’s only water fountain t…
Confirmed: It’s those damn kids again
COLLINGWOOD ON – A report released earlier today by a think tank of local curmudgeons, crabs and cranks has sadly confirmed what many in the curmudgeon community already knew: It’s those damn kid…
Progressive company introduces unisex boardrooms
MONTREAL – In an effort to promote inclusivity within their company, mutual fund giant QPM Investments has announced a bold new plan to introduce unisex boardrooms. “In 2017, having separate coun…
Man who isn’t listening confused by what you just said
ST. JOHN’S — Recent reports from your workplace suggest that George Everrett, the man with whom you’ve been talking for three minutes, has not listened to a word you just said and is decidi…
Man’s attempt to cut fresh bread goes horribly, horribly wrong
BRANTFORD, ON – Traumatized victims are attempting to move on with their lives after witnessing a disastrous attempt by local man Ian Pendergast to cut a loaf of fresh bread into equal slic…
Local woman worried she says ‘y’all’ too much
MONTREAL — Local woman Molly Blackmore recently expressed concern to friends and family about her overuse of the contraction “y’all.” “I just find it handy!” explained Molly. “It’s casual and kin…
Local Dad trying to explain tribal tattoo to 4 year old son
Langley, B.C. – After years of long sleeve shirts Connor Smith’s 4 year old son, Jonathan, has finally inquired about the origin and motivation of his father’s full sleeve tribal tatt…
Mom and Dad tag-team to remember boring anecdote
TORONTO – In an inspiring display of teamwork, local parents Al and Mary Dickinson joined forces on Friday to regale their son with a completely boring anecdote. “What a trip!” Mary announced sho…
