HALIFAX, NS – A Halifax judge has ruled that drunken proclamations of love constitute legal marriages. “Clearly, a drunk can consent to marriage,” reads the decision in the case of a young …
Lifestyle
Frantic cleaning of apartment before arrival of guests only quality time couple spends together
GUELPH – Early today Gary and Marsha Suffolk were struck with the realization that the only time they truly spend together any more is during the panicked apartment cleanup they perform about an …
Entire family unsure who actually wanted to go on cruise
INTERNATIONAL WATERS – Speaking from the middle of a 7 day Caribbean cruise, members of the Webster family are at an absolute loss to explain who thought going on a cruise would be any fun …
5 ways to abandon your kids on Family Day
You know what they say, kids are either the greatest joy in your life, a constant burden on your spirit, or some combination of both. But no matter how much you love your children, one thing is c…
Report: Valentine’s Day doesn’t buy into you either, Craig
BRAMPTON, ON – According to a recent report, Valentine’s Day has ceased to believe in Brampton resident Craig Moore. “We’re not going taking part in Craig this year,” read a statement from …
7 recipes to combat your existential dread
If you’re feeling the angst of meaninglessness, you’re not alone. Let’s face it, the fact of nihilism means nothing really matters, so eating well is only slowing down the count to your inevitabl…
Local cuck happily married
WINNIPEG – Despite reports confirming that local librarian Richard Gordon is a complete beta cuck, further evidence has recently emerged that he is in a happy and healthy marriage of severa…
5 ways to fool your family into thinking you’re doing something with your life
Sometimes it’s difficult to make things happen. If you’re a millennial throwing your life away on technology, social media conversations, and a dream that you will one day be able to …
Bryan Baeumler shows the Beaverton how to find reasonably priced homes for sale in Toronto
Finally some good news for Toronto homebuyers from Bryan Baeumler.…
Local dad wakes screaming from nightmare in which he failed to beat weekend traffic
TORONTO – Carson Evans, a local father of three, awoke last night in a cold sweat after having a nightmare in which he failed to beat cottage traffic on a Friday afternoon. “Leave… Leave at…
