EDMONTON – As Alberta suffers its worst measles outbreak since the 1980s, Premier Danielle Smith has called on Albertans to demand a better deal from the airborne disease. “As we all know, medi…
Health
“Is it possible you’re just pregnant?” asks doctor staring at woman’s fractured tibia
TORONTO – As soon as lawyer Marlene Davidson was rushed to hospital after slipping and fracturing her tibia, the doctor took one look at the blood pouring out of her leg and the protruding …
Alberta proves private healthcare is more efficient at generating scandals
EDMONTON – Alberta’s experiment with private healthcare delivery is already paying off, as the system is generating scandals at a rate unheard of by the province’s public-facing healthcare system…
New study finds pushing feelings way deep down inside is best option for everyone
Shoppers Drug Mart, Ontario – A new study from researchers at Harvard Medical has found that people who ignore their emotions and bury them deep within ends up being the best approach for s…
Ford to execute first prisoner by using Ontario healthcare system
LONDON, ON – After Premier Doug Ford was recorded joking about bringing back the death penalty, he has since confirmed that not only will he follow through with the idea, but he is already …
Injured ham sandwich rushed to Mayo Clinic
ROCHESTER, MN — Reports are coming in that a ham and cheese sandwich suffered a grievous injury in its internal ingredients, necessitating medical evacuation to the Mayo Clinic. “This is about as…
Problematic but brilliant doctor who plays by his own rules will put your new liver where he damn well pleases
TORONTO – Renegade doctor Lance Falcon is shocking the medical establishment with his brilliant but wildly unorthodox thoughts on where your new liver should go, according to dazzled reporters. “…
Breaking: doctors starting to suspect that women’s bodies work differently than men’s
REGINA, SK – In a groundbreaking speech, Dr. Jeremy Edgar of Fairmont Grover Health Research Institute, delivered new findings that the female body may have innate biological differences th…
“Get well soon!” says woman who doesn’t understand how chronic illness works
KITCHENER, ON – A local office worker who completely misunderstands how chronic illness works has reportedly told her chronically ill coworker to “get well soon!” Linda Campbell, 53, sent t…
Wizard? This woman timed her edible to the end of her workday
NANAIMO, BC – Local woman Michelle Jennings has been labelled as some form of all-seeing sorceress after perfectly timing her edible to the end of her workday. Jennings, who largely works from ho…
