OTTAWA, ON ― The latest analysis of a local first-year North American History course discussion forum has revealed that every one of the 173 questions posted there was already answered in class. …
Education
Top 5 courses at Jordan Peterson’s new University
Jordan Peterson has unveiled his “anti-woke” University: Peterson Academy. Which is definitely a real university and not just Conservative MasterClass. Being the curious intellectuals…
Horrible teacher about to become even worse student
TORONTO – Former University of Toronto professor Jordan Peterson has agreed to take social media training in order to keep his license to practice psychology from the College of Psychologis…
Report: Protestor encampment at McGill still cleaner than student residences
MONTREAL – A recent examination of the Pro-Palestine protest encampment set up on the McGill University campus has found that the students involved are currently living in conditions that a…
Olympic anti-sex beds to be donated to college dorms
PARIS – After much deliberation leading up to this year’s event, the International Olympics Committee has decided what to do with the Olympic Village’s infamous anti-sex beds – they will donate t…
Kid taken out of school early shocked by mundanity of adult world
CORNWALL, ON – Jacob Ryland, 4th grader at Rose Elementary, got the best news of his life at 1:48PM last Wednesday when he was asked to pack up his things and go to the office to meet his m…
Teacher struggling to indoctrinate child who never pays attention
REGINA, SK – Local school teacher Max Hammond is concerned that if one of his students doesn’t start focusing more in class, they will miss out on being forcibly led to adopt a more left-wi…
Conservative education ministers tackle urgent problem of children feeling too safe at school
REGINA – Several conservative provincial governments have enacted or are planning to enact policies that require parental consent for children to change their names and pronouns in school a…
University’s 2-Factor authentication stymies hacker trying to do other people’s homework
CALEDON, ON ― A local hacker’s nefarious plot to maliciously log into a first-year student’s account and do their algebra was frustrated this week, thanks to the foresight of administrators who r…
Incoming first year students excited to pretend Carleton University was their first choice
OTTAWA – As graduating high school seniors across the country look forward to starting post-secondary education, students from the Carleton University class of 2027 are excited to begin the…