LOS ANGELES – Fans of Edward Scissorhands were shocked to learn that the half-human, half-unknown possibly pseudo-robotic being was alleged to have beaten his wife. “I cannot believe there …
Culture
Report: Tragically Hip final tour tickets still available through ruthlessly beating ticket holders
KINGSTON, ON – Disappointed Tragically Hip fans who failed to get tickets to the band’s final tour still have some hope after reports indicate there are some available by viciously assaulti…
Woman braces for barrage of street harassment think pieces
VANCOUVER — As warmer weather approaches and fashions become more revealing, women across the country have begun grudgingly preparing themselves for an increase in street harassment opinion piece…
Dave’s colonoscopy video wins top prize at Cannes
CANNES – After eleven days of electrifying and challenging cinema at the Cannes Film Festival, the prestigious Palme d’Or was awarded to MULLINS PROC. CRX34-8, a thorough portrayal of 60-year-old…
Orphan Black fans successfully clone Tatiana Maslany
TORONTO – Scientists at the Orphan Black Fan Institute say they have successfully cloned a human being, actress Tatiana Maslany, star of the cult sci-fi series, Orphan Black. “If the show h…
CBC vows to wait 4-6 weeks before even thinking of rehiring Ghomeshi
TORONTO – In the wake of sexual assault allegations against Jian Ghomeshi and his subsequent criminal trials and peace bond, the CBC has firmly avowed that they absolutely will not even consider …
Canada’s Wonderland unveils ‘Room’-themed roller coaster
Vaughan, ON – Canada’s Wonderland has revealed a new roller coaster inspired by the harrowing Oscar-nominated film Room that will make its debut at the theme park this summer. Expected to b…
5 must-read summer novels we shot out of a cannon
If you haven’t prepared your summer reading list yet, we’ve got you covered. We compiled a list of some of the most buzzworthy novels, then loaded them into a nineteenth-century English cannon an…
Visionary filmmakers dare to ask: What if Spider-Man again?
LOS ANGELES — In a move sure to keep film theorists talking for decades to come, visionary filmmakers Joe and Anthony Russo have turned the world of cinema on its ear by confronting one of …
DNTO cancelled after Sook-Yin Lee runs out of family, friends to interview
TORONTO — After 22 years worth of shows on CBC Radio, Definitely Not the Opera will be cancelled due to host Sook-Yin Lee no longer having any family members, friends or acquaintances left …
