Kelvington, SK – A rural community is grieving the loss of two residents after an argument at a local bar Sunday over the Oxford comma escalated into fatal violence. 42-year-old Graham King…
Culture
Spoiler alert! Series creator reveals next season of The Crown includes major character death
LONDON – Fans of The Crown are reeling after hearing news that one of the beloved characters of the series will die next season. “We want to prepare viewers early,” said series creator Pete…
Local comedian doesn’t even know how to do any offensive accents
TORONTO, ON – 22-year-old comedian Kyle Johnson has been called out by his family and friends for being unable to do any offensive accents. The problem began when his father, Keith Johnson,…
Best Breakout Actors of 2020 and who their famous dads are!
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Acting is notoriously difficult to break into, but this year’s up-and-comers used hard work to beat the odds! These rising stars have the charisma, drive, and genetic facial…
Trudeau announces stars of Schitt’s Creek can now commit any crime without penalty
OTTAWA – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has declared that, due to their incredible international success, Daniel and Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara and Annie Murphy, are no longer bo…
Sony pulls broken, glitching Cyberpunk 2077 game, rebrands it as Cyberpunk 2020
SAN MATEO, CA – Following reports that its newly-released Cyberpunk 2077 game has been riddled with release problems and frustrating glitches, Sony has pulled the game from its online store…
Woman who forgot to do laundry reluctantly puts on clown suit
TORONTO – Ashley Greenfield woke up this morning to discover that after weeks of putting off doing laundry and hand-washing her underwear in the sink, she was officially out of wearable clothing.…
Star Wars fans excited about new series starring Gleep Glorp, or whoever the fuck
BURBANK, CA – Yesterday, the Walt Disney Company announced 10 new Star Wars TV series starring beloved characters like Dorfus Kent, Ultra Moff Charlie, and Fudge Offal, or some nonsense like that…
Christopher Nolan wants audiences to see movies the right way: sitting in a seat some teenager got to third base in
BURBANK, CA – In the wake of Warner Bros.’ announcement that they will release their entire lineup of 2021 films in theatres and on HBOMax simultaneously, several industry players have come out i…
B.C. makes controversial decision to give first 4000 doses of COVID vaccine to stars of The CW’s Riverdale
VANCOUVER – The government of B.C. has announced how they will be dispensing the 4000 doses of the coronavirus vaccine the province is set to receive next week, and all of them are going to…
