LOS ANGELES, CA – NBC has announced the spring debut of Police Cops, which will shock and surprise television viewers by making two characters with disparate personalities solve crimes together. …
Culture
Hallmark announces holiday movie about woman who realizes her hometown is an irredeemably racist shithole
LOS ANGELES – The Hallmark Channel has announced that it will be expanding its catalogue of original holiday content with a new Valentine’s day movie about a career woman who returns home f…
HBO ready to offer up another Game of Thrones prequel, you sick fucks
LOS ANGELES, CA – HBO reportedly has another Game of Thrones prequel series in development, which they are really hoping is what you fucking people want. Based on George R.R. Martin’s more …
The Golden Globes celebrate Hollywood’s best and brightest bribers
This past Wednesday, the Hollywood Foreign Press released their hotly anticipated nominations for the 2021 Golden Globe awards. After delays due to the global pandemic, the nominations were final…
Underwear dropped on laundromat floor still clean…right?
Bowmanville, ON — After dropping her freshly-washed undies on the laundromat floor yesterday afternoon, local woman Beth Jonks has determined that the pair is still clean enough to wear… probabl…
Local libertarian unsure of what this has to do with the age of consent
HAMILTON, ONTARIO – Local libertarian Charles Whorley reportedly interjected into a public conversation about vegetables and produce today, confused as to what the subject matter had to do …
With Biden in office, Canadian satirists scramble to familiarize selves with Canadian politics
TORONTO – As the political climate in the USA settles with President Joe Biden in office, Satirists and political comedians all across Canada are hurrying to develop even a passing familiar…
New Harry Potter TV show will only go ahead if J.K. Rowling can personally inspect the genitals of everyone involved
LOS ANGELES – A new live-action Harry Potter television show is reportedly in very early development at HBO Max, and while no producers, directors, writers or actors have yet been attached,…
Chris Evans rumoured to be in talks to reprise his universally beloved Marvel film character, Johnny Storm
LOS ANGELES – Superhero film fans are ecstatic at the news that Chris Evans is negotiating with Marvel to return to the role that made him an A-list celebrity and household name: Johnny Sto…
Grimes says she’s “enjoying” having COVID-19, being in relationship with Elon Musk
LOS ANGELES — Vancouver-born pop musician Grimes announced Monday that she had “finally” tested positive for COVID-19, calling the “DayQuil fever dream strangely enjoyable.” Since then, she has b…
