LOS GATOS, CA -– Following a new policy designed to strictly limit account-sharing among multiple users, Netflix has discovered that it has always just been one subscriber. The lone paying custom…
Entertainment
J. K. Rowling announces that Hermione is a TERF
EDINBURGH – In the latest of a slew of Harry Potter retconning, J. K. Rowling recently tweeted that the beloved know-it-all Hermione Granger is a trans-exclusionary radical feminist who is …
Hallmark CEO reverses decision to pull ads featuring lesbians after being visited by three gay ghosts
STUDIO CITY, CA – Following a magical nocturnal adventure guided by three homosexual Christmas spirits, the president and CEO of Hallmark Cards Inc has publicly apologized for caving into r…
Rioters demand return of Anne with an E
CHARLOTTETOWN – Cities across the country are paralyzed amid the chaos stemming from the cancellation of the CBC-Netflix series ‘Anne with an E.’ The protestors, ranging in age from 8-17 an…
Inspiring: Jennifer Aniston on turning 50, ghastly aging painting in attic
LOS ANGELES – Jennifer Aniston, radiant as ever at fifty, revealed that the secret to her perfect, wrinkle-free skin is a regular exfoliation routine, a daily meditation practice, and a gho…
Are hedgehogs getting sexier? Hollywood says yes
Move over, Bambi’s mom. Hollywood’s animated creature kingdom just got hotter. Following widespread outcry over the unalluring appearance of Sonic the Hedgehog in the first trailer for his new fi…
Poster for local comedy show just headshots of 12 people that aren’t famous
TORONTO – This month, residents have taken notice of a poster advertising a local comedy show that has appeared to litter the downtown core. The poster itself has raised more questions than…
Meet Tilda Swinton’s sister, Close Bracket Swinton
DUNS, SCOTLAND – After years of living in her sister’s shadow, Tilda Swinton’s younger sister, Close Bracket Swinton, is ready to take the acting world by storm by producing, directing and …
Local man convinces self he’s having good time at back of concert
TORONTO – A local man standing alone at the back of a rap concert at the Rebel Entertainment Complex assures himself that he is having a good time, maybe even better than those at the front. “Hon…
“I’m a musician too,” adds q’s Tom Power for the 500th time
TORONTO – CBC Radio host Tom Power has reminded his guest and listeners that he’s also a musician for the 500th time since taking the helm of q. Power mentioned this fact unprompted during …
