VICTORIA – After an exhaustive overview of decades of data including eyewitness accounts, the majority of monster experts have reached the conclusion that climate change has led to a signif…
Climate Change
Climate change speeding up just to get this over with
GENEVA – An alarming report released by the World Meteorological Organization has revealed that climate change is speeding up to just get this all over with. “Human activity got the ball ro…
Earth immediately breaks New Years resolution to lose 1.5 degrees
LUNGS OF THE EARTH, AMAZON – After publicly promising it was going to be a ‘new year, new me’ for the fifteenth year in a row since Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, Earth has once again imm…
Orlando rebrands as ‘Orwatero’ in anticipation of climate change
ORWATERO – In an effort to be the first city to recognize the new reality that much of the earth will soon be covered in water, Mayor Buddy Dyer has announced that Orlando, FL is changing i…
Venetian flood eases traffic
VENICE, ITALY — A record-breaking number of floods in Venice, Italy has significantly eased traffic congestion by opening a number of options for commuters to get to work. “It’s so convenie…
Greta Thunberg named Person of the Year in magazine no one from her generation reads
NEW YORK – This week, 16-year-old climate change activist Greta Thunberg graced the cover of TIME Magazine, as 2019’s ‘Person of the Year,’ to the shock of Baby Boomers everywhere. Recent r…
Climate protesters stymie police attempts to arrest them by becoming fossil fuel CEOs
HALIFAX – As protesters in several Canadian cities blocked bridges today to bring attention to the climate crisis, police were surprised and dismayed to discover that many of the protesters…
Climate change skeptic insists earth was booby-trapped to explode from beginning
OTTAWA—Climate change skeptic Herb Gilpin has found increasing support for his theory that climate change, far from being caused by man-made pollutants, is in fact an indication that it is heatin…
Financial experts say millennials will have to save an entire planet to retire
CALGARY – As the millennial generation gets closer to midlife and starts to make retirement plans, financial experts are warning that not only will they have to save twice as much money as …
Starving Canadians from 2050 wished the 2019 election was about the climate crisis
RUINS OF TORONTO – A group of starving Canadians from the year 2050 lamented on the ill-fated 2019 election, the last chance the country had to save itself and the world from a climate chan…