NIAGARA FALLS, ON – A new report affirms all the bad stuff you remember hearing about Marineland a couple of years ago is ‘probably cleared up by now.’ “Oh sure, after all that bad publicit…
Business
Air Canada introduces landing fee to all customers currently in flight
DORVAL, QC – Air Canada has announced a new “landing fee” to all customers who are in mid-flight at the present time. “Our goal at Air Canada is always to provide the best quality service,”…
INFOGRAPHIC: Blackberry vs Canadarm
Is it entirely possible that the Blackberry and the Canadarm are the same thing?…
Man being yelled at in cubicle dreamt he was flying last night
MISSISSAUGA, ON – After dreaming he was experiencing the perfect freedom of untethered flight last night, reports have confirmed that customer service representative Jeffrey Kwan is being y…
Blackberry stock rises on report nation’s dads still can’t figure out iPhone
TORONTO – Blackberry stock closed at its highest level in months today after a national report released by McGill University indicated that Canadian fathers are still too stubborn to learn how an…
Kevin O’Leary starts rumour that Kevin O’Leary named in Panama Papers
TORONTO – Following the explosive “Panama Papers” leak, detailing the offshore accounts of high profile billionaires worldwide, Dragon’s Den star Kevin O’Leary has been caught starting a ru…
RBC bests Scotiabank with new ad campaign ‘you’re richer than the government thinks’
TORONTO – RBC has announced a new slogan designed to compete with Scotiabank’s popular ‘you’re richer than you think’ in which the bank assures people that they can be wealthier than they t…
Rogers Wireless reports $10 million profit from people calling CRTC to complain about Rogers Cable
TORONTO – Rogers Wireless, Canada’s largest cellular communications company, achieved an unexpected $10,000,000.00 profit as a result of the amount of time Canadians are spending on their p…
Oil pipelines need stronger oversight, says watchdog someone forgot to pay off
OTTAWA – The National Energy Board is not doing enough to make sure pipeline companies are complying with regulations, says a new report by the federal commissioner of the environment and s…
Citing missed deadlines and delays, ISIS cancels Bombardier order
MOSUL, IRAQ – ISIS has announced plans to cancel its order of 20 Bombardier Innovia APM Light Rail cars amid repeated setbacks and disappointments. “To be quite honest, we are very upset” said Mo…
