OTTAWA — Following the resignation of a Toronto candidate this weekend, the Conservative Party of Canada has pledged all future candidates will be ethical, upstanding citizens who know how to use…
Conservatives claim Canada only country in the world to successfully deny deficit
OTTAWA – Despite a report from the Parliamentary Budget Officer indicating that the nation’s budget will not be balanced, the Conservatives triumphantly announced today that Canada is the f…
QUIZ: What is your white name?
1. What’s your favourite colour? a) Violet b) Fire Engine Red c) Hawthorne Yellow d) Sky Blue 2. Are you a cat person or a dog person? a) Cat b) Dog 3. Where is your summer home? a) Muskoka b) Th…
Feeling dead on the inside now a requirement for federal government jobs
OTTAWA – All federal departments and Crown Corporations will now have an added job requirement: feeling completely empty, hopeless and void of human emotion. Treasury Board President Tony C…
QUIZ: What Does Your Personal Information Say About You?
Sponsored quiz by: Authenic Quiz Corpp 1. What is your credit card number? A) 4530 1500 8503 0048 B) 4568 9304 1198 2283 C) 8492 9204 2748 2203 2. What’s your favourite password? A) My moth…
Nation waits for more Bill Cosbys to come forward before believing Bill Cosby rape accusations
HOLLYWOOD – Following the release of documents revealing that Bill Cosby himself admitted to obtaining prescription Quaaludes to have sex with women, a skeptical nation has resolved to give…
Michael Chan accused of holding office while being non-white
TORONTO – Earlier this week CSIS accused Michael Chan, the Ontario Minister of Citizenship, Immigration and International Trade, of holding office while not being white. “Sure, when we made…
Struggling used book store tries its hand at happy endings
MONTREAL – Used bookshop The Blot & Feather has attracted a swell in once dwindling customers with a novel solution; to exclusively offer happy endings with every purchase. Owner Bernar…
New generation of e-cigarettes will provide authentic cancer experience
CANADA – In a recent breakthrough by electronic cigarette manufacturers the next generation of e-cigarettes on the market will cause cancer and other complications, giving what distributors…
