EDMONTON – The province that didn’t pay $4.5 billion for the Trans Mountain pipeline has voted 62% in favour of refusing to understand how the federal equalization program works. The ‘Yes’ …
Edward Rogers announces takeover from small corner of home where he can get reception
TORONTO – The ousted chairman of Rogers Communications has announced he will try to take back control of the company from the corner of his second floor bedroom, the only location where his…
Unemployed anti vaxxer reassured he can always get work as a National Post columnist
TORONTO – After losing his long-term health care job for endangering his colleagues and patients, local vaccine denier Tim Hubble has been reassured by Postmedia he can work as one of their…
Suspended Evander Kane says he’d have to throw at least 10 games to make up for lost wages
SAN JOSE – After being caught for forging his proof of COVID-19 vaccination, San Jose Sharks left winger Evander Kane says he would have to intentionally lose nearly a dozen games to make u…
Over 4 million Albertans diagnosed with long-haul Kenney
CALGARY – Doctors have diagnosed all of Alberta with the long term side-effects of Premier Jason Kenney which could last up to 18 months. Symptoms include crowded hospitals, absent leadersh…
New Brunswick orders government employees to hover 2 m above ground to avoid Indigenous land claims
FREDERICTON – In a leaked memo from New Brunswick’s minister of justice, all provincial employees have been ordered to levitate at least 2 meters above the ground to avoid complicating the …
Shatner manages to have 3 torrid love affairs during 10 minute space flight
VAN HORN, TX – Despite being in space for a mere ten minutes, the man who played Captain Kirk in the 1960s version of Star Trek managed to seduce a sexy Klingon, a USS Enterprise psychologi…
Anti-vax family thankful they’ll have more leftovers this year
VANCOUVER – This Thanksgiving anti-vaxx family, the Millers, announced that they’ll be giving thanks for all the extra leftovers after several family members passed away from Covid-19 this …
Ford exempts MPP from vaccine citing medical condition that causes her to lie about vaccination status
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is defending one of his MPPs for misrepresenting her vaccination status saying that she now has a medical condition that causes her to lie about her vacc…
Green Party stuck in a slow motion electric vehicle pile-up
SAANICH, BC – Dozens of bystanders watched in mild amusement as the Green Party leadership was trapped in a slow motion electric car pile-up. Highway 17 was at a standstill while Green poli…