News in Photos.…
Greta Thunberg named Person of the Year in magazine no one from her generation reads
NEW YORK – This week, 16-year-old climate change activist Greta Thunberg graced the cover of TIME Magazine, as 2019’s ‘Person of the Year,’ to the shock of Baby Boomers everywhere. Recent r…
Ellen DeGeneres and George W. Bush bravely find common ground as rich white people
DALLAS, TX – Comedian and LGBTQ+ icon Ellen DeGeneres was seen with former President George W. Bush at a football game this past weekend. Following the backlash, DeGeneres responded by brav…
Ongoing Titanic deterioration halts production of live-action underwater musical
ST. JOHNS – A live-action underwater musical remake of the acclaimed film Titanic has been in the works for years, but production came to a halt this week after 4K footage of the delicate w…
New indie board game takes 105 hours to set up
TORONTO – Tired of playing board games that were over before he had a chance to grow a beard or kill a plant through neglect, indie board game developer Patrick O’Gorman has created a revolutiona…
Millennial contract killer struggles in gig economy
TORONTO – As the gig economy continues to devastate any sense of job security among millennials, the hitman industry has been one of the hardest hits. “Jesus Christ, I mean, you’ve got civilian U…
Film Review: Detective Pikachu glamorizes Pokémon-on-Pokémon violence
Detective Pikachu plunges audiences into the urban fantasy of Ryme City, a metropolis populated with humans and Pokémon “coexisting peacefully,” as long as the Pokémon serve us as bartenders and …