Looking for photos of Princess Charlotte, a child you’ve never met, and never will meet? You’ve come to the right place. Here’s a great photo of this child, whose only claim to fame is that…
Furious Liberals deny accusation that they’re trying to protect the environment
OTTAWA – Environment Minister Steven Guilbeault is adamant that the Conservatives are lying about the Liberals imposing a new green tax on pickup trucks and wants to assure the public that …
Climate Change considering makeover to stand out amongst shiny new calamities
NEW YORK – A dire new report released by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) on the horrific effects of the climate crisis has been swiftly overshadowed by news about the R…
Trudeau lifts Emergencies Act, says situation on Monday has completely changed because now it’s Wednesday
OTTAWA – After spending Monday arguing that the Emergencies Act needed to be continued because the convoy-related emergency was still ongoing, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has now revoked …
Trudeau promises that Canada will only be under the Emergencies Act for as long as trucks exist
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is uncertain when and if the Emergencies Act will ever be lifted as long as Canada, and Ottawa in particular, remains under threat due to the continue…
Police worried crackdowns on convoys will hinder their ability to recruit from the lunatic fringe
OTTAWA – Police departments across Canada are concerned that their mild efforts to arrest the anti-vaccine and anti-government protesters who’ve disrupted Canadian society for the last thre…
Trudeau invokes Embarrassing Emergencies Act
OTTAWA – In light of the severe humiliation Canada is experiencing on the world stage due to the country’s inability to handle the anti-vaccine protesters, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is …
B.C. unveils new “what you don’t know can’t hurt anyone” COVID strategy
VICTORIA – After weeks of struggling to adapt their approach to COVID in light of a large testing deficit and a completely unknown amount of infections within the population, the B.C. provi…
Erin O’Toole urges Canadians to accommodate the unvaccinated so they don’t feel excluded from the society they’re trying to destroy
OTTAWA – As yet another wave of COVID overwhelms hospitals and Canada’s ICUs fill with unvaccinated patients, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole is adamant that the large majority of Ca…
Movie Review: Is seeing The Matrix Resurrections worth contracting Omicron? We don’t know, none of us were willing to find out
NOTE: This review contains spoilers for The Matrix Resurrections trailers but not the movie, since no one at the Beaverton has seen it because have you read the most recent COVID numbers? Jesus. …
