TORONTO – After Doug Ford’s bombshell announcement that he would use S. 33 of the Constitution to override the Superior Court striking down his decision to eliminate half of the Toronto Cit…
NDP consider replacing Jagmeet Singh with one of their other nationally known, charismatic MPs
OTTAWA – With the NDP struggling in the polls, rumours are swirling that the party may seek to replace current leader Jagmeet Singh with one of their many party officials that combine natio…
Study: sitting is the new smoking, and lying down is the new getting addicted to heroin
VANCOUVER – A new study released from UBC Medical School has confirmed the long held suspicion that sitting for extended periods of time is just as harmful as smoking a pack a day, and adde…
Shocking new book suggests Trump bad
WASHINGTON D.C. – An explosive new book exploded onto the political scene yesterday morning by suggesting that former U.S. President Donald Trump is not good but rather, quite bad. “The aut…
100% of local woman’s friends pregnant
Victoria, B.C. – Vanessa Grafton, 29, recently realized that every single one of her close friends is currently knocked up. “The situation didn’t really set in at first,” said Grafton. “I j…
Fans worry The Big Bang Theory will end without revealing which nerd is the horniest
HOLLYWOOD – Ever since last week’s announcement that the upcoming 12th season of The Big Bang Theory would be the show’s last, fans have been expressing concern that the show would never re…
Local Dad reaches that age where he smells like a damp library
WINNIPEG – As he enters his late 50s Henry Adamson, father of three and grandfather of two, has, like so many men before him, started to smell like an old library that recently experienced …
Drug dealer reverses long-standing policy of ‘snitches get stitches’
TORONTO – Premier of Ontario and former hash dealer Doug Ford has announced the creation of a website where parents can report if their child’s teacher is not adhering to the PC mandated se…
Top 5 CNE attractions they paid us to write about so you’ll ignore their labour dispute
Let’s go to the Ex! The CNE is back in Toronto until September 3. And what would summer be without the outrageous food and classic rides? Sure there is a massive labour dispute where 400 stagehan…
Proud Boys apparently going to stick with that name
NEW YORK CITY – After two years of advocating “western chauvinism” in the form of wearing Fred Perry golf shirts and not masturbating it appears that far right group the Proud Boys are real…
