OTTAWA – Attempting to spice things up in Ottawa, Prime Minister Stephen Harper unveiled a wide-ranging overhaul of his executive government on Monday, a move the P.M. is quite hopeful will…
Jason Kenney just wants to find love, expel all refugees
According to sources on Parliament Hill, MP and Minister for Citizenship, Immigration and Multiculturalism Jason Kenney has recently been speaking more and more about his two major life goals: to…
Chicago Blackhawks dedicate Stanley Cup win to the spirits of their Native American ancestors
CHICAGO – Returning home for a Stanley Cup parade after a shocking Game 6 victory over the Boston Bruins, Chicago Blackhawks players were quick to credit the warrior spirit and enduring tra…
Red and black ants engaged in racial war
Wascana Park, Regina – What started out as a dispute over a fallen popsicle, has now turned into a full fledged race war between the red ants of the community garden and the black ants of t…
Study: Every child who cheated at NHL 94 now a hardened criminal
BURNABY, BC – A new study by Simon Fraser university has revealed that all children who constantly relied on well known but impossible to stop cheats to win at NHL 94 have turned into dange…
Harper denies knowing Duffy, Conservative caucus, his children
OTTAWA – After a series of embarrassing mishaps and scandals Prime Minister Stephen Harper is denying any role in knowing Senator Mike Duffy, most of the conservative caucus and members of his im…
New Raptors GM pledges to restore team to its former mediocrity
TORONTO – Newly appointed Raptors GM Masai Ujiri, at a press conference announcing his hiring over the weekend, made clear his intention to rebuild the team from its current horrible state …
Economic Action Plan to build houses for senators where they claim to live
OTTAWA – In response to the recent Senate housing allowance scandal, the Harper government announced a new program that will construct residencies for senators pretending to live in the pro…
Man with sweaty back mourns arrival of summer
GUELPH, ON – The onset of warm weather has left local man Jake Blume completely unable to go out in public without sweating through his clothes. “Great, now I get to spend four months of my…
