HALIFAX – A recent study revealed that 80% of boomer advice is just the phrase “Suck it up, Buttercup.” Conducted over the last five years, the study found that the advice was applied no ma…
Investigative Report: Ice cream scoop of stuffing makes any meal a festive special
TORONTO – After evaluating hundreds of fast food and casual dining restaurants across Canada, an in-depth investigation revealed that the key to a successful festive special is offering an …
Retailers guarantee to have worse version of what you want in stock for holidays
EDMONTON – Retailers across Canada want to assure Canadian consumers that despite global supply chain issues and shortages, they guarantee to have the worst version of what you want in stoc…
45-year old man wondering when he’ll feel like the grown-up in the room
WINNIPEG – 45-year old Jason Kingsley sits in his home wondering when he’ll feel like the grown-up in the room. Kingsley admits that he can vote, buy beer, and rent a car but that’s only b…
Toddler slamming on xylophone mistaken for jazz legend
CALGARY – This past Saturday evening, toddler Jacob Williams was mistaken for jazz legend Duke Ellington while slamming on his xylophone. Jacob was gifted the xylophone at his third birthda…
Key habit of successful people found to be plenty of free time to pursue goals
TORONTO – A recent study of the 1% has determined that the key habit of successful people is plenty of free time to pursue their goals. The study was conducted by researchers at the Univer…
Inspirational Quote a day Calendar way too bossy
LETHBRIDGE, AB – The Inspirational Quote-A-Day calendar adorning the desk of Sharon Wilson is way too bossy. What started out as a fun way to start the day is now a demanding drill sergeant…
Pentagon announces plan to Irish Goodbye troops out of Afghanistan
WASHINGTON DC – The Pentagon has officially announced today that it will Irish Goodbye American troops out of Afghanistan. The decision was made after months of deliberation on the best way…
Natural deodorant deemed a waste of nature
TOFINO, BC – After trying multiple brands and formulations of natural deodorant, it’s been decided that natural deodorant is absolutely a waste of nature. Our planet deserves better than to…
Male ally suggests women who don’t want to be attacked surgically implant keys between fingers like Wolverine
CALGARY – Darin Hendricks, a self-identified male feminist ally, thinks women who don’t want to be attacked should have their keys surgically implanted between their fingers like Wolverine.…
