TORONTO – A recent study of the 1% has determined that the key habit of successful people is plenty of free time to pursue their goals. The study was conducted by researchers at the Univer…
Inspirational Quote a day Calendar way too bossy
LETHBRIDGE, AB – The Inspirational Quote-A-Day calendar adorning the desk of Sharon Wilson is way too bossy. What started out as a fun way to start the day is now a demanding drill sergeant…
Pentagon announces plan to Irish Goodbye troops out of Afghanistan
WASHINGTON DC – The Pentagon has officially announced today that it will Irish Goodbye American troops out of Afghanistan. The decision was made after months of deliberation on the best way…
Natural deodorant deemed a waste of nature
TOFINO, BC – After trying multiple brands and formulations of natural deodorant, it’s been decided that natural deodorant is absolutely a waste of nature. Our planet deserves better than to…
Male ally suggests women who don’t want to be attacked surgically implant keys between fingers like Wolverine
CALGARY – Darin Hendricks, a self-identified male feminist ally, thinks women who don’t want to be attacked should have their keys surgically implanted between their fingers like Wolverine.…
4-year old tab closed, never read
NORTH BAY, ON – On Sunday, William Herd finally closed a browser tab he had opened four years ago. The tab contained a long-read from ProPublica on what the world can expect from a Trump pr…
Overwhelmed 30-year-old woman forced to choose between anti-aging or acne-fighting skincare regime
CHARLOTTETOWN – Jessica Harmon returned home from a trip to Shoppers Drug Mart with over $1150 worth of skin care products as she was too overwhelmed in the store to make a decision between…
Man forced to move after house fills with too many good boxes
CHATHAM – Lewis White was forced to move after his house filled up with too many boxes that he deemed worth saving. White had been collecting boxes for years but once the pandemic hit and …
Local women dreams of Valentine’s proposal after insufficiently hinting at holiday season proposal
Dartmouth NS – Local woman, Claudia Draper, is dreaming of a Valentine’s Day proposal by boyfriend, Trevor Chase, after she failed to sufficiently deliver hints for a holiday season proposa…
Local woman optimistically transfers all 2020 goals to her new 2021 planner
Flin Flon, MB – Local woman Jessica Thames has optimistically transferred all of her 2020 goals into her brand new 2021 planner using her ‘the future is yours’ engraved pen. Thames came up …
