By: Rex Murphy A fringe group of black clad professional protest stormtroopers known as ‘antifa’ have recently made headlines – thousands of headlines – despite the fact that they rep…
Trump appoints Hurricane Harvey head of FEMA
HOUSTON — President Donald Trump has shocked Washington insiders by naming the Category 4 storm currently battering Houston as his head of the disaster relief agency FEMA. At 9:45pm Sunday …
“It’s about states’ rights” says Ontario man flying Confederate Flag
HAMILTON – Local construction worker Keith Lipiec insists the Confederate flag hanging from the truck located about 150 kilometres from the U.S. border is merely “a celebration of states’ r…
Apartment residents officially surrender to fruit fly occupation
CALGARY – Roommates Amir Reza, Ashley Barker, and Kyle Garland have officially drawn up terms of surrender to the fruit fly forces occupying their 3 bedroom apartment. “We, the human reside…
Man returns from European vacation with fantastic tales of what they have on Netflix
OTTAWA — Local office temp Ryan Graydon has returned from his first-ever trip to Europe eager to regale his friend with stories of the movies and TV shows available on European Netflix. “So…
Trump dreading performance review with Putin after signing Russia sanctions
WASHINGTON DC — After signing a bill aimed at punishing Russia for meddling in the 2016 election, President Donald Trump is reportedly “not looking forward” to an upcoming performance revie…
Anthony Scaramucci sets land speed record for fastest Trump Admin career immolation
WASHINGTON DC — Clocking in at just under 10 days on the job, White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci has completed a record-breaking run for destroying one’s entire career a…
Republican lawmakers call recess to play “Good Guys with guns vs Bad Guys with guns”
WASHINGTON D.C. — GOP lawmakers called for a short break in Congressional proceedings to go outside and play their favourite game: “Good Guys with guns vs Bad Guys with guns”. “The only thi…
Glowing red dot still at large, warn cat detectives
TORONTO – The Metropolitan Feline Police Force is warning cats that, despite their best investigative efforts, the suspect known only as “the glowing red dot” has yet to be captured. “The g…
Trudeau already regretting allowing hotel-less Trump to crash in his room
HAMBURG, GERMANY – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is reportedly “kicking himself” for offering to share his G20 hotel room with Donald Trump, after the American President’s staff fo…
