LOS ANGELES – With the release of Arrival of a Train at a Station (2018), a remake of the Lumière Brothers’ record-breakingly successful film Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat (1896), the las…
Eagles sign Colin Kaepernick for one-game contract to defeat Tom Brady, save football, America, just moments before you wake up
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – In a surprise last-minute transaction, the Philadelphia Eagles have signed controversial quarterback Colin Kaepernick to a one-day contract that will allow him to lead the…
Canada discovers paying millions to host World Cup easier than getting there by being good at soccer
OTTAWA – Canada has discovered a new way for its team to qualify for the World Cup: paying millions of dollars to host the event. The joint bid from Canada, the United States and Mexico to …
Royal Baby to teach Master Class on being Royal Baby
LONDON – Master Class, the online education platform featuring celebrity instructors like Serena Williams and Martin Scorsese, has made history by signing a contract with the fetus inside K…
Toronto Maple Leafs celebrate world’s longest running uncorrected spelling mistake
TORONTO – Today the Toronto Maple Leafs commemorate a 100 year milestone: having a name containing a spelling mistake that has lasted without correction longer than any other spelling mista…
How to cultivate an All-Apologies leadership style
Eliott Salmon For Beaverton Business Sorry to bring this up, but if your company is anything like mine, and it might not be, it probably has a big problem with leadership. Canadian business leade…
Children to remember local father as constantly tired
FREDERICTON, NB – Local father Andrew Stevens is, according to everyone who knows him, an excellent father who gets the privilege of spending a lot of quality time with his two children, Hu…
Manitoba releases special license plates for unfriendly Manitobans
WINNIPEG – In what is being heralded as a win for cranky Canadians everywhere, the Manitoba Court of Appeal has ruled in favour of the creation of special license plates for drivers who liv…
Dear Babysitter: Here’s a quick summary of the lies we’ve told our children
Hi Babysitter! Thanks for coming over and taking care of our little ones! They are our pride and joy. Raising them to be responsible citizens has been quite the adventure! In the course of raisin…
Donald Trump addresses UN General Assembly with face covered in wing sauce
NEW YORK – US President Donald Trump gave his much anticipated first speech to the United Nations General Assembly Tuesday, and while the speech was historic in content, it will primarily b…
