FREDERICTON, NB – With the ceremony only days away, the Lisa Pentman Homeschool Academy has announced that its most distinguished and only alumna, Aunt Kathy, will be speaking at graduation…
White students union promises safe space to conquer, enslave nations
TORONTO – Postering the York, Ryerson and University of Toronto campuses, the group ‘Students for Western Civilization’ is calling for the creation of a safe space that would allow white st…
Tories polling strongly among nation’s that-one-friend-on-Facebook
OTTAWA – A poll conducted among the that-one-unbearable-person-on-Facebook demographic has shown that the Conservative party is polling above 95%. “Polls of people with any basic decency sh…
Woman telling everyone that she is ghosting from this party
TORONTO – Having determined that she is no longer ‘feeling this party’, local woman Tammy Smith has decided to ghost, but not before informing close friends, acquaintances, and …
Leaked documents show that the RCMP wiretapped 30,000 deer
OTTAWA – Coming on the heels of revelations about RCMP surveillance of native and environmental groups, new leaks have shown that the Royal Canadian Mountain Police issued warrantless wiret…
Stan Lee signs contract allowing corpse to appear in future Marvel films
HOLLYWOOD – Citing their popularity among fans, former Marvel president Stan Lee has vowed that his cameos in Marvel films will continue long after he dies. “Realistically, my living body w…
Chris Alexander hosts annual draw to see which ethnic group not welcome in Canada
OTTAWA – In one of the most glamorous events of Ottawa’s annual social calendar, Immigration minister Chris Alexander has chosen by lottery which ethnic group will no longer be welcome in C…
Scientists at University of the Lord discover that Jesus is Lord
BARN GLORY, ON – A surprising new study from University of the Lord has revealed that Jesus Christ, and not anybody else, is Lord. “We started from the premise that somebody had to be Lord,…
Cool new website aggregates content directly from people’s homes
NEW YORK – Only six months old and already challenging New Media titans like BuzzFeed and the Huffington Post, the viral media website Stufftaker is overtaking social networks with original…
Midlife crisis averted by motorcycle accident
Although divorced and in his late forties, local man James Baucher has managed to avoid a midlife crisis by becoming involved in a severe motorcycle accident. “He was really hasty and desperate t…
