OTTAWA — Several Canadian manufacturing companies announced that the domestic robots that replaced thousands of Canadian workers will be replaced by temporary foreign robots. Canada’s new a…
Bombardier develops new jet capable of breaking government bailout barrier
MIRABEL — In an effort the revolutionize the Canadian aerospace industry, Bombardier Inc. has been tirelessly working to break the taxpayer investment barrier with a newer version of the CS…
Canada Post hires former FLQ members to blow up community mailboxes
MONTREAL — In what will be a tremendous task of removing thousands of community mailboxes, Canada Post has hired former members of Quebec’s defunct separatist paramilitary group to destroy …
Geriatric riot erupts after Stuart Mclean show cancelled
EDMONTON — A live show of Stuart Mclean’s Vinyl Cafe show scheduled to appear in Edmonton was cancelled causing a riot among disappointed octogenarians and retirees . After the venue announ…
Lancaster bomber annihilates Berlin for old time sake
YORKSHIRE, UK — An iconic World War II bomber has brought back many old memories after it dropped a 14,000 lbs payload of incendiaries and high explosives over Germany’s capital some 70 yea…
Trudeau flies paraglider to rally
KITCHENER — Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau wowed his supporters today by arriving at a rally in a motorized paraglider. Despite a busy schedule, the 43 year-old politician managed to squeez…
Elections Canada apologizes for long lines, offers voters complimentary ballots
OTTAWA — Taking responsibility for long wait times to vote, Elections Canada has offered all advanced voters complimentary ballots in addition to the one they’ve already cast. “We apologize…
Meet the 23 year-old PMO staffer who denied all of the Syrian refugees into Canada
OTTAWA — In a small office located within the bowels of Stephen Harper’s PMO sits a young man responsible for halting all Syrian refugee applications. When he’s not busy wiretapping Justin …
Elections Canada announces new Yukon voting station teetering on Mount Logan’s Summit
HAINES JUNCTION, YUKON — In response to a voting card mix-up that required some 300 Yukon voters to travel nearly 600 kilometers to vote, Elections Canada has fixed the problem by moving th…
Jason Kenney spontaneously combusts after court permits niqab for citizenship ceremony
CALGARY — In what authorities are calling a rare instance of spontaneous human combustion, Multiculturalism Minister Jason Kenney burst into flames upon hearing the Federal Court of Appeal …
