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Judge grants child custody to parent’s smartphone
OAKVILLE, ON – An Ontario judge has granted sole physical custody to her divorced parent’s iPhone 9, which was deemed to be the only thing that helped raise the child. After a lengthy legal…
No
For the love of God, no.…
US Customs conduct 8 hour interrogation on Persian rug
BLAINE, WA – U.S. Customs and Border Protection Services have detained a Persian rug as it attempted to enter the US at the Peace Arch Crossing along the BC-Washington border. US border age…
TSN camera wins World Juniors gold medal
OSTRAVA, CZ – The TSN centre ice camera has won gold at the IIHF World Juniors in the Czech Republic on behalf of Team Canada. The camera, who played at every game at the arena showed a tre…
Screaming child becomes official mascot of Costco
ISSAQUAH, WA – Wholesale retailer Costco has unveiled the screaming child as the mascot for all of its stores. After extensive research, a child having a catastrophic meltdown without cause…
Canada’s military advisers unsure if they should be training Iraqi army to fight ISIS, Iran, or US
BAGHDAD – Canadian soldiers deployed on a NATO mission training Iraqi troops are now unsure whether they are preparing Iraq to fight ISIS, Iran, or the United States. The deployment of 250 …
Embarrassing Australian government continues to rage across the country
CANBERRA – Australia remains gripped by a raging and shameless government that appears to be engulfing the nation. Emergency crews and locals have attempted to control Liberal Prime Ministe…
In memoriam: The gloves we lost in 2019
We lost some of humanity’s best gloves and mittens in 2019. Here are just some of the best hand covers that we said good-bye to: Sheep leather glove (left hand) – Lost at the airport …
Canadian holiday tradition of angrily berating teenagers continues
OSTRAVA, CZ – The long-held Canadian holiday tradition of berating 16-to 19-year-olds for losing a hockey game started a few days earlier this year. Fervent displays of the holiday spirit d…