NEWMARKET, ON – A lethargic 24-year-old man is concerned that the federal government’s proposal to end income sprinkling – a tax loophole that he directly benefits from – may me…
Historic first: Phoenix pay system completes first payment for public servant without causing colossal fuck-up
OTTAWA – In what is being described as a historic first, IBM’s pay system for all of Canada’s public servants has successfully paid an employee the proper amount at the proper time without …
VIA Rail retracts ‘why don’t you take the train?’ tagline after passengers find many reasons not to
MONTREAL – Canada’s only passenger rail line has removed its tagline ‘why don’t you take the train’ from the crown corporation’s commercials after thousands of passengers have discovered nu…
Local man too poor to avoid paying taxes
RIVERVIEW, NB – Sources have confirmed that local man Maurice Fitzroy will not earn enough to not pay taxes for this year despite his best efforts at trying to be wealthy enough to pursue t…
Study: Niagara River fish have better access to antidepressants than most Canadians
NIAGARA FALLS – A new study released by the University of Buffalo has shown that the fish swimming in the Niagara River have free and unlimited access to a number of antidepressants and oth…
Father’s wedding speech enters fourth day
OTTAWA – Running well over his time limit of 5 minutes, local father Bill Fernie’s speech has now entered its 96th hour at his son’s wedding reception. Fernie, 61, has not stopped his senti…
Help, I’m a real journalist but I keep reporting on Justin Trudeau’s photo-ops without asking real questions!
By: Randi Bateman, Reporter I really need your help! I’m a real journalist, but I’m drawn into into the Prime Minister’s PR stunts, take dozens of photos, and report on it without asking a seriou…
You’re Jason Kenney. Can you find an excuse to get out of going to Calgary Pride?
Can you get out of going to Pride?…
Calgary airport tows away passenger in wheelchair for waiting in Lexus-only boarding area
CALGARY – The Calgary Airport Authority has towed away an 87-year-old passenger in a wheelchair for placing himself in the Lexus owners-only boarding area while waiting for a flight to Toro…
Former Conservative leadership candidate Tub of Margarine renounces Rebel Media
MELVILLE, SK – Former Conservative Party Leadership candidate and Tory MP-hopeful Tub of Margarine is distancing itself from Ezra Levant’s Rebel Media. The container filled with refined veg…
