TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford appeared at an Ontario Superior Court with his injury lawyer claiming he was involved in a motor vehicle collision last night with the carbon tax, and announced …
Doug Ford hires only the best family and friends to get to the bottom of nepotism claims
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford has announced that he will review claims of nepotism by his government along with a crack team of friends and family members. Ford explained that the public can …
Raptors sweeten offer to Kawhi Leonard with 500 MB of data on Canadian cell phone plan
TORONTO – Early reports indicate that the Toronto Raptors have offered free agent Kawhi Leonard 500 MB on his Canadian cell phone plan if he signs with the team for another season. “We’re w…
Quebec law requires all circumcised government workers to wear secular foreskin covers
QUEBEC CITY – All circumcised men in positions of authority within the province of Quebec are now legally compelled to wear an artificial foreskin cover in the workplace. An overlooked regu…
Meet the Air Canada passenger left on the same plane for the past 15 years
TORONTO – He’s been reported missing by his family since 2004, but Kurt Sampson is alive and well, and still trapped on the same Air Canada flight he boarded to Calgary. The now-bearded tel…
Western University invites David Wooderson from “Dazed and Confused” to speak at convocation
LONDON, ON – Western University has confirmed the smooth-talking star from the documentary “Dazed and Confused” will receive an honourary doctorate and speak at next year’s convocation for …
Liberals declare climate change emergency for a few hours before approving pipeline
OTTAWA – The Liberal government has announced the recent climate change emergency declaration is now over, thereby granting them the moral authority to approve the Trans Mountain pipeline. …
Snake can’t believe she still fits into her skin from 10 years ago
NARCISSE, MB – A local red sided garter snake took to a grass field to brag about how she can still squeeze into her old skin, which she shed some ten years ago. “Oh my God! ” said the snak…
New law requires Quebec to show its racism visibly
QUEBEC CITY – Quebec Premier François Legault has announced that his government has passed legislation requiring all citizens of Quebec to visibly show their contempt for religious and raci…
Oh no! Kawhi Leonard is now King of the North and he has no idea how to give legislation Royal Assent!
Now that Kawhi Leonard has been crowned King of the North and has replaced the Queen as our Sovereign, he’s got no clue on how to issue a Royal Assent, appoint a Prime Minister or proroguing Parl…
