This past Wednesday, the Hollywood Foreign Press released their hotly anticipated nominations for the 2021 Golden Globe awards. After delays due to the global pandemic, the nominations were final…
12-year-old girl ready to take on world after purchase of puka shell necklace
CALGARY, AB — Grade 4 student and fifth in line for being most popular, Cydney Applebaum, has reported feeling ecstatic after her recent purchase of a white puka shell necklace on a recent …
“Kids just don’t play like they used to” says dead body down by the quarry
BOBCAYGEON, ON — On a grey November morn down by a not often trodden down path near a quarry it has been reported by Phil Douglass, deceased January 10, 1996, that children “just don’…
Hallmark to release holiday movie about a woman who falls in love with the idea of Christmas itself
HOLLYWOOD — With the holidays fast approaching, the Hallmark Channel has announced a slew of new movies including, The Woman Who Fell in Love With The Idea Of Christmas Itself. “We are thri…
6 year old hopes everyone gets that his Halloween costume is supposed to be Darth Vader wearing a winter coat
Sault Ste. Marie, ON- Grade one student, Charlie Jacobs of Little Oak Elementary, has released a statement confirming that his Halloween costume this year is in fact Darth Vader wearing a winter …
Top 5 Halloween costumes that are just the Joker you unimaginative white man
As the Halloween season approaches many people spend weeks looking for imaginative, unexpected costumes. Others do not. Beavefeed is here for all those white men who will watch Joaquin Phoenix’s …
High schooler discovers having camp girlfriend holds no currency
HAMILTON, ON — Chase Wintermen, 15, has quickly realized upon beginning high school that getting to third base with his summer camp girlfriend “means absolutely nothing to anyone̶…
Getting your body sweater ready for Fall
Leaves changing, plummeting temps, and the scent of pumpkin spice filling the air; fall is just around the corner. But what will the change of the season mean for your beach bod? Follow these tip…
Local Aunt needs a vacation from her vacation
HAMILTON, ON– During a ten day all-inclusive trip to Cuba, local aunt Brenda Sommers has officially declared that she officially needs a vacation from the very vacation she is currently exp…
“I agree with Andrew Scheer” says woman who just used a shockingly out of date racial slur
MADAWASKA COUNTY, NB — As a “Community Residents of Orchard Road’s Association” meeting came to a close, Donna Trapmen finished off her final conversation of the evening by admi…