OTTAWA – In a stunning move, progressive conservative MP Michael Ma crossed the floor Thursday to the progressive conservative Liberal Party, just a few weeks after similar minded progressive conservative Conservative MP Chris d’Entremont did the same.
“It just made sense,” Ma said when asked about the decision at a presser. “Carney is cutting government employees, committed to making sure the quality of life for the average Canadian doesn’t improve at all, and made a pipeline deal with Alberta’s United Conservative Party that completely screwed over First Nations groups and the British Columbia New Democrats.”
“It’s everything I ever could have wanted in a progressive conservative Prime Minister,” Ma added, dragging his chair cross the House of Commons.
Meanwhile, Prime Minister Carney was seen laying out a table of finger sandwiches, butter tarts, and other hors d’oeuvres along with a sign reading: ‘All refugees* have a place here. *Exclusively from the Conservative Party.’
When asked if the Liberal Party will be adopting a formal name change to reflect its new progressive conservative image and body, Carney said he was open to the idea.
“Progressive Conservative Liberal Party is a bit of a mouthful, but it feels right, and I know it would really piss Poilievre off,” Carney added, adjusting his freshly printed t-shirt that read, ‘Be a conservative who progressed, join the Liberal Party!’
Ma was asked if he felt that his actions might spark other Conservative MPs to cross the floor. “I know others want to, but they’re either afraid, or not quite committed. I think if the Prime Minister ends federal pharmacare or dental care like he promised he wouldn’t, it would really open the doors.”
Conservative Party of Canada leader Pierre Poilievre could not be approached for comment, as he had barricaded himself in his office with the faint noises of shouting, broken glass, and banging on solid objects echoing through the doorway.
