KINGSTON, ON – Last Friday, a local company held their annual Employee Appreciation Lunch and celebrated their hardworking staff by proudly serving the cheapest food possible.
The BBQ event took place in the Fortune 500 company’s parking lot under a few pop up canopies, decorated with two balloons each. The menu consisted of hot dogs, a rice and bean medley, “orange drink” from an unmarked cooler, and a vegetarian product of unknown origin.
“It was grey, and kind of oblong shaped,” recalls employee Scott Russo. “No one knew what it was, and none of the higher ups would tell us.”
The dessert offerings were a fruit salad consisting only of cantaloupe, and discounted mini cupcakes from No Frills.
“They could have at least removed the ‘50% off’ sticker,” says employee Jamie Grant, “and not limited us to only 2 cupcakes each.”
Many expressed surprise over the food’s quality, especially given the company’s professional affiliations with more palatable catering options.
“Aren’t some of our clients Red Lobster, The Keg, and Coffee Time?” asks employee Claire Nowak. “Even Coffee Time would have been better food, and who’s ever said that before?”
The luncheon also featured light entertainment by way of a phone playing a Spotify free trial playlist and the CEO’s nephew going table to table performing magic tricks.
“I had assumed the nephew was going to be like 8 years old, but he was at least 30,” says employee Carly Wilkensen. “The tricks were good though.”
A standout moment of the afternoon was the company president’s heartfelt speech. While hiding a large takeout bag from The Keg behind his back, he shared some words of appreciation taken from a Google search for “employees; words of appreciation”: “Today we celebrate your hard work, dedication, and loyalty. We are not just an organization, we are a family. Cheers to us, and as we always say, company slogan!”
The HR team ended the occasion by gently clarifying for all staff that the lunch counted as a taxable benefit, which they will see reflected as a deduction on their upcoming paycheck.
After next week’s surprise mass layoffs, the social committee shared that they have more exciting events planned for the year including “Freezie Fun Day,” where employees will be asked to supply their own freezies and scissors.
