QUEBEC CITY, QC – Four men involved in an far right terror plot were arrested this week by RCMP, not for plotting terrorism, but for releasing a written manifesto that was not properly translated into both French and English.
The written manifesto, which outlined the group’s “ideologically motivated violent extremism”, reportedly failed to adhere to Quebec’s strict language laws, thus alerting provincial law enforcement.
“We had received reports of a group of men, including Canadian Armed Forces members, amassing weapons and explosives as part of a scheme to seize local land,” explained Sgt. Francois Philipe-Dupois of the RCMP’s Quebec City detachment. “But as soon as we read their online manifesto calling for ‘violence against Canada’s Liberal tyranny’ without also adding ‘violence contre la tyrannie libérale du Canada‘, we knew we had to take action.”
According to one of the arrested militia members, the failure to release their hate-filled manifesto in both official languages was an unfortunate oversight.
During questioning, Marc-Aurèle Chabot, 24, explained that the release of english-only screed was largely a clerical error. “We were trying to impress some of our online militia buddies down in the States, so naturally we only sent them our manifesto en anglais.”
Chabot continued, “Rest assured, when we finally used our massive stockpile of guns and restricted ammunition to rise up against Canada’s democratically-elected government, we would have made our fanatical demands in French first and foremost.”
RCMP have clarified that any public demands made by the militia going forward must be in French. This includes any weird flags, psychotic political missives, or hand-delivered ransom notes with the letter cut out of magazines.
“And those letters had better be cut out of 7 Jours or La Semaine, understand,” added Sgt. Philipe-Dupois.
At press time, officials from Quebec’s Ministry of Justice were discussing whether violent rhetoric and ill-intentions towards the wider nation of Canada “were also pretty bad, I guess.”
