Boise, ‘Merica – Local skimmer of news articles John Lougthrow recently exclaimed he was ‘amped’ for Canada to become the 49th state of the currently 50 United States of America.
“Hard to believe they weren’t already Americans,” explained Lougthrow. “I mean, they already speak our language, and they vote for our president. I don’t know how they think they can just use our tax dollars for their free healthcare without paying insurance.”
Lougthrow’s comments resonated with a lot of eligible voters in the United States, who also are unaware of not only the policies of their country, but where their country begins and ends.
“Yeah, and I think it’s about time we add Alaska as a state too,” stated Hilary Bornhere, another American sharing her one cent about US international policy. “For that matter it’s about time Iowa gets added to our glorious country. If San Francisco is allowed to be a state, then Iowa should get to be one too.”
While many Americans are excited by the idea of adding Canada to the USA, some expressed outrage by the idea that “another stripe” must be added to the flag.
Emboldened by Trump, many Americans have begun sharing the best strategies for invading Canada, most of which fail to correctly find Canada on a global map. Lougthrow himself believes the best route to invasion is going through Japan because, “once you get through there, you’re almost at Vancouver.”
Americans have listed many of the abundant resources they are excited to have access to with Canada joining the US including orange groves, “marijuana trees,” and “oil farms.”
