NEW ORLEANS, LA – The NFL has announced that the prominent end zone messages of “No More Racism” will be updated for Super Bowl LIX between the Kansas City Chiefs and Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday by simply removing the word ‘No’.
NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy explains, “We’ve made this update in light of recent changes in the tenor and content of national discourse. America is moving in a positive direction and the NFL is removing the word ‘No’ to reflect that change. What could be more positive than that?”
Taking a cue from NFL fans, famous for their universal embrace of events like Colin Kaepernick’s protest or the Washington Commanders name change, the league has decided on a new slogan for a new era. Insiders report that removing the “No” was chosen in place of rumoured alternatives such as “The Only Color We See Is Green” or replacing the “No” with “I <3”. Though many suspect the NFL has made this change in anticipation of the attendance of the President of the United States, McCarthy denies the allegations. “No one outside the organization asked us to make this change. Nor would we pander to any political leader. This is a change that reflects the NFL as a whole and it’s a message we hold dearly. I feel like nearly everything the NFL has done since its inception has been consistent with this philosophy,” said McCarthy. “Go look at the history of the NFL and tell me I’m wrong.” The NFL is considering further changes to the league such as going to an 18 game schedule, forcing the sale of Green Bay Packers to a single owner, trademarking the term “CTE”, and making the league slogan “Bodies For Sale”.
