TORONTO – The Board of Rogers Communications, owner of the Toronto Blue Jays, have expressed their shock at the information that they are within their rights to fire the executive team of Mark Shapiro and Ross Atkins on account of the team being mostly terrible under their watch.
“We can do that?!” said a flabbergasted Tony Staffieri, CEO. “We don’t just have to sit idly by while the team limps along for 9 years, never good enough to make it past the wildcard but never bad enough to get high draft picks?”
“We would have acted years ago if we knew that!”
Shapiro and Atkins took over a team put together by Alex Anthopoulos that was very close to making the World Series. After one year of running mostly the same team back to the same level of success they proceeded to tear it down in order to rebuild as a better, stronger beacon of mediocrity than AA could ever dream of.
“Look it’s not like Atkins has been a brutal GM. He did sign Vladimir Guerrero Jr. after all,” said Staffieri. “Wait that was Anthopoulos too? Goddamit.”
“Well at least the renovations to the Roger’s Centre look nice. And isn’t that what baseball is all about?”
Having been advised of their firing power the Rogers board immediately convened and gave both 5 year extensions.
